Intimacy: Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents;... - FML

By soontobewidow - 28/03/2015 09:20 - Turkey - Istanbul

Spicy

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 457

You deserved it 3 983

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 114

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 829

You deserved it 4 378

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 14:06

Spicy

Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 285

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Spicy

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 796

You deserved it 5 060

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 17:35 - United States - Honolulu

Spicy

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 798

You deserved it 3 138

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 172

Date night

By So much for a friendship - 08/12/2023 13:00 - Israel

Spicy

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 588

You deserved it 2 696

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 124

You deserved it 3 063

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 797

You deserved it 7 227

Next

Top comments

Gesula 24

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:07

mildly concerned by the username

Nevracceptdefeat 26

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:06

Dont you hate it when that happens

Comments

ebonyrose2828 16

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:13

Accidentally kick his balls.

Mexico_WC2018 16

Sunday 29 March 2015 10:42

Ah the llamas in hats good times

AllSoul 23

Sunday 29 March 2015 15:25

#116, you seem to have a thing about cooking and eating hands, it's quite scary. I hope this YouTube video explains it...

Badkarma4u 17

Monday 30 March 2015 22:50

Never bring violence into a relationship. Some men would find that provocation enough to really physically hurt her.

KVYLV 16

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:14

"husband" and "best friend" huh? that's unfortunate, love your attitude about this. <3 Praying for you O.P.

jqmalang 17

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:15

Leave both your husband and your best friend. I know it's going to be very difficult but you are better off without people like that in your life OP.

deademolover 19

Sunday 29 March 2015 4:39

hey maybe on the long run it would be a favor maybe shell find someone even better than her soon to be ex-husband and a better bestfriend who wouldnt ever cheat/betray her

usaidwhat82 21

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:15

Dump him and find a better best friend.

pastel_fml 18

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:19

Sounds like he's the accident.

david99021 15

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:22

dont worry just do the splits on his best friend.

whitnayfortooh 29

Sunday 29 March 2015 14:13

he probably doesn't have one ha

david99021 15

Sunday 29 March 2015 17:54

because he is already so deep in the pussy?

rinzler806 9

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:23

That must be a pretty huge ******, if he could fit his whole body inside.

lulinator 40

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:02

Pencil down a hallway.

melissaferns 16

Sunday 29 March 2015 4:57

dead lolololol

rinzler806 9

Sunday 29 March 2015 5:12

Banana down a subway tunnel

wakemeupplease 21

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:24

Lol seems like someone is gonna die soon :D

EarlFug 19

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:30

I hope he's ok! OK enough to sign divorce papers, that is.

sstahpp 33

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:30

This happens waaay too much to be surprising anymore?

AllSoul 23

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:31

When it's your husband and your best friend, two people you care about a lot, I think it comes as a pretty big surprise, and a slap in the face.

sstahpp 33

Sunday 29 March 2015 3:15

I won't argue with that

BigxXxDeal 14

Sunday 29 March 2015 4:35

I agree and when its two people that are that close they are bound to be around each other with you. just a matter of time. hopefully op kicks his ass clean out with nothing to show. I just hope they don't have kids in the mix

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Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Friends Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 943

You deserved it 251 934

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 11 187

The Top

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 480

You deserved it 51 796

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 510

You deserved it 4 848

Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 31 809

Today, after my girlfriend made a huge dinner, we got frisky. About 15 minutes in, I threw up the dinner she made, all over her. She hasn’t talked to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 442

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 046

You deserved it 1 523

Today, something bad happened and I posted an FML, only to have a caption with a judgemental comment thrown on the top by some desk jockey asshat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 904