Love: Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm... - FML

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 754

You deserved it 7 228

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Same thing different taste

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 043

You deserved it 6 552

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 535

You deserved it 596

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 974

You deserved it 18 433

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 383

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 652

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 34 559

Oh, hi

By Fifi - 16/04/2018 05:00

Today, my husband popped out to the hotel gym while I jumped in the shower. After a while I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was him, I cheekily opened the door in my naked glory to be greeted by the maid. I didn’t know do-not-disturb signs aren’t double sided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 542

You deserved it 3 437

Classic

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 00:00

Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 1 400

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 195

You deserved it 3 103

Carrie?

By Lucy - 22/03/2022 06:00

Today, I faked a burglar alarm to see what my sleeping husband would do. The instant he thought a burglar was in the house, I thought he'd yell out for me and come looking. Nope, he yelled out for his limited edition Air Jordans, and ran into his office to check if any were missing. Priorities, I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 1 000

Next

Top comments

hoppityhophop 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 12:44

Well, that's a bit stupid.

allmidnighteyes 10

Saturday 7 August 2010 12:51

stfu atticuz anyone who hasn't slept naked is missing out on something amazing.

Comments

RufusCade 7

Sunday 8 August 2010 21:49

Mission accomplished... :-D

D34DM4ND4N 2

Monday 9 August 2010 4:46

Any man who tells a girl she's dumb for sleeping naked isn't really a man...

Kellen12 0

Monday 9 August 2010 21:46

Why were you naked were you having sex

DCS_fml 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 17:54

did anyone see?

tjgreen 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 13:03

hahahhaha awesome! he got you good.... maybe it's time to dye your hair a little darker

cotah 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 18:47

your husband's right . . . it was funny ;)

snooze36 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 19:30

sleeping naked is great. :)

funfactor 3

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:40

we should have a sleep over

the_impossible95 0

Saturday 11 September 2010 18:40

divorce him

scotty1234 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 3:47

rofllmao

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Weird Parents Health Scary Stressed out Embarrassing Transportation Cars Work Love My ex LGBTQIA+ First Dates Social Media Facebook Virginity Sex Intimacy Painful School Awkward Dating Tinder Jealousy Coworkers AITA Anxiety

The Top

Today, I'm 37 years-old. I work full time and make 20 dollars an hour. I live with my parents. I still cannot afford to move out and I'm completely broke. I keep overspending because I get anxious because I feel like a failure. I'm addicted to sugar and eat a pint of ice cream a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 533

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 102

You deserved it 36 910

The Top

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 392

You deserved it 6 209

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 119

You deserved it 2 527

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 420

You deserved it 5 832

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 122

You deserved it 2 395

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 697

You deserved it 56 538

Today, I got detention from my teacher for not handing an assignment in. It would be understandable if I hadn't handed it in a week before it was due. She won't listen to reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 347

You deserved it 1 848