Miscellaneous: Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party... - FML

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 118

You deserved it 2 527

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Same thing different taste

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 431

You deserved it 3 813

By art_major - 25/05/2011 14:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 853

You deserved it 7 623

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 634

You deserved it 24 781

Happy birthday?

By Not really - 19/07/2018 15:00

Today, I picked up a birthday card for my dad at the supermarket in a mad rush. I didn’t realise that the inside said “From your daughter”. He thinks this was my way of coming out as trans, and said that he'd suspected it for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 388

You deserved it 1 039

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 180

You deserved it 3 812

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 766

You deserved it 3 981

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 141

How appropriate

By ohgod - 14/08/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 547

You deserved it 7 942

Glittery letters

By Anonymous - 27/01/2020 18:00

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 212

You deserved it 453

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 925

You deserved it 172

Next

Top comments

_Peppermint_ 34

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:56

No kidding!

player20270 32

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:04

I imagine your daughter won't enjoy the pictures from her birthday party, when she gets the real meaning of the shirt's phrase.

Comments

_Peppermint_ 34

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:56

No kidding!

kryxen 14

Sunday 24 May 2015 3:56

Well at least it was accurate.

SydLovesLacey 18

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:57

I believe it.

Wsparta 26

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:58

Wow, that is classy. /sarcasm

krazayman 18

Sunday 24 May 2015 3:38

I don't think they appreciated your sarcasm

Aimeejasmine 15

Saturday 23 May 2015 23:59

I wonder what his present for you daughter was if that's his sense of humour aha

goldcock19 9

Monday 25 May 2015 2:26

Probably a butt plug or something

Matheo_fml 21

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:01

Attitude at its finest!

PossiblyInDanger 24

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:01

If your dad is the kind of parent who likes to embarrass his kids, he definitely succeeded. Sounds like something my father would do. Should've told him to change shirts or leave.

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Sunday 24 May 2015 1:10

Wow buzz kill much? The dad sounds like he has a good sense of humor.

10thDoctorGirl 13

Sunday 24 May 2015 2:14

For an 8 year old's party, it's not really appropriate. Different if it were to an adult party.

GriZzliie 3

Sunday 24 May 2015 2:14

22, you've got the best picture to make that comment!

player20270 32

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:04

I imagine your daughter won't enjoy the pictures from her birthday party, when she gets the real meaning of the shirt's phrase.

Exaspera 54

Sunday 24 May 2015 3:05

Poor kidlet.

KitchKraft 21

Sunday 24 May 2015 3:34

At least he's honest.

tranced_ 45

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:06

Where can I get one?

carllyo 19

Monday 25 May 2015 13:41

Probably Amazon. Amazon has almost everything.

spinda 22

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:09

Classy!

irish_lad 16

Sunday 24 May 2015 0:10

Well the shirt says right. Your dad is a huge dick

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Today, I found out that I can never go to my local cinema again. Not just because of the current lockdown, no. The guy I gave an embarrassing, drunken hand job at a party to works there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 1 925

Today, after suffering a severe brain injury and receiving a large amount of money from the lawsuit for physical and mental rehab, I found out that my dad stole it all and spent it on himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 206

You deserved it 243

Today, my boyfriend invited me over, so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom handed me a box. When I got home, I opened it. His mom had baked me a break-up cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 449

You deserved it 3 812

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 356

You deserved it 34 926

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 371

You deserved it 10 695

Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 126