Love: Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault...

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 689

You deserved it 46 092

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 115

You deserved it 121 312

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 5 407

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 005

You deserved it 328

Major red flag

By Karissa - 24/08/2021 10:01

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 153

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 09:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 121

Insane jealousy

By Iammsofed - 17/06/2021 14:01

Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 108

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 573

You deserved it 6 325

Gross idea

By Anonymous - 09/03/2012 00:30 - Canada

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 820

You deserved it 2 951

By AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 374

You deserved it 2 545

HSOMGF 5

Tuesday 6 December 2011 8:45

You're on here bragging that you almost hit your husband with a laptop? Get some help, please.

suavesuave 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 8:52

If it was the guy hitting his wife with a laptop the comments would be much different

Comments

mosquito19 14

Tuesday 6 December 2011 21:24

man hits women is called assult. when women hit a dude is funny

QWERTYCommander 5

Tuesday 6 December 2011 21:24

You're an abusive psycho and I hope your husband leaves you. YDI.

jmad29 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 21:34

Cool neighbor and you seriously need some help

chels1994 11

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:09

Assault via laptop.... stupid AND expensive

eva4757 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:15

Omg, I love your neighbour.

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:33

Billy Mays here with Chipotlaway

PennyLane27 32

Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:33

That's really f*cked up. I hope your husband gets away from you, crazy b*tch!! NO ONE deserves to be abused. Being in an argument doesn't justify it. Therapy or get out of it!