Miscellaneous: Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should...

By GoldenSteve - 05/11/2015 15:31 - United States - Humble

Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should put all the death row inmates in a coliseum and film them fighting. I guess he lied when he said he only drinks at the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 464

You deserved it 2 537

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Same thing different taste

By cthulhu help me - 01/03/2013 18:22 - United States - Cabot

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 657

You deserved it 2 819

By failure - 22/09/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 782

You deserved it 5 045

By Squinty6 - 02/03/2011 15:28 - Canada

Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 968

You deserved it 3 995

By juggalomurderer59 - 12/11/2014 16:00 - United States

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 787

You deserved it 9 522

By JimmyT - 03/03/2013 22:21 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 575

You deserved it 14 281

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 13:39 - United States

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 349

You deserved it 9 681

Overreacting a tad

By phonnah - 20/06/2012 17:59 - United States - Bowie

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking Gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 3 226

By Anonymous - 04/03/2013 22:24 - United States

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 4 857

By Pooping - 29/08/2012 19:19 - Canada - Aldergrove

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 906

You deserved it 1 911

Just the two of us

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, well intent on trying a new workout class. I was the only person in the class and the instructor was clearly disappointed. He reluctantly gave me the class but I could tell he was hating the whole experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 112

higgysaurus 18

Thursday 5 November 2015 18:58

That gym teacher has some great ideas.

Tripartita 44

Thursday 5 November 2015 18:56

Listening to insane rambling > gym class Or maybe I'm just a lazy ass.

Comments

amarie2009 22

Friday 6 November 2015 12:09

Sounds like a great idea to me! People can place bets, fun for the whole family!!

xxsakuraxx 29

Friday 6 November 2015 12:46

The whistle makes me their God!

RealSuperSand 21

Friday 13 November 2015 17:10

Hey Sam want to know which cheerleaders are legal?

Xion0014 20

Friday 6 November 2015 13:01

That.... Sounds like it makes sense though xD

mandafager 32

Friday 6 November 2015 14:26

Am I the only one wondering what a coliseum is? The fights mostly took place in Colosseums.

shake666 15

Friday 6 November 2015 15:47

Please tell your teacher to watch Deadman Wonderland.

rogwest 23

Friday 6 November 2015 20:25

I don't see this as a bad thing…

imbedderdenu 23

Friday 6 November 2015 20:47

Haha omg I totally agree with him! Although saying it to a bunch of school aged kids probably wasn't the best time to get on that soapbox.

mj5229 9

Friday 6 November 2015 21:15

I fully support your teachers idea.

Badkarma4u 17

Friday 6 November 2015 23:02

I know 3 guys in West Memphis, Arkansas that might diagree with him.

FML1000timesover 7

Saturday 7 November 2015 0:27

That's an amazing idea I'm kind of disappointed that I haven't thought of it

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Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 910

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

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Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 272

You deserved it 19 673

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 342

You deserved it 7 121

Today, I keep killing flies in my room, probably dozens on a daily basis, and yet every day there seems to be more of them. I have to sleep backwards in my bed so the droning of the fan drowns out the buzzing noise, or else I can't sleep. Even then, I sometimes jump awake when one lands on my ear, which is often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 192

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 238

You deserved it 485

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 640

You deserved it 4 156

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 501

You deserved it 315 064

Same thing different taste

Overreacting a tad

Just the two of us

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