Miscellaneous: Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese...

By nipman - 25/04/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 200

You deserved it 3 854

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Same thing different taste

By notanightowlanymore - 05/01/2016 17:44 - United States - Clyde

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 2 124

Class act

By Superfly - 19/07/2021 18:01

Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 476

Sleeping danger

By Lovernotafighter - 24/02/2012 11:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 415

You deserved it 2 180

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 22:59 - Australia - Redland Bay

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 570

You deserved it 5 030

By Gomer - 11/04/2014 14:51 - United States - New York

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 450

You deserved it 5 865

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 349

The future

By omen - 02/09/2020 10:01 - Indonesia - Majalengka

Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 909

You deserved it 2 347

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 495

You deserved it 5 412

Who are you?

By forgotten - 02/10/2009 07:46 - United Kingdom

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 502

You deserved it 2 826

xAustinZx 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 0:32

just be glad he didn't have a flame thrower

flipstar530 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 0:31

BONDING TIME!!

Comments

mk58 31

Tuesday 26 April 2011 1:47

No, 53, I believe you are referring to yourself because you seem to have difficulty understanding humor.

ChurroGalactico 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 1:57

Hide his heart pills >:D Jk but haha fyl xP

willyboy1234 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:03

are you ******* retarded

bignasty29 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:06

Never take him out for Chinese!!!

ADub55 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:15

id suggest opening your eyes fully while around him

ddoug293 3

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:20

well stop looking like a jap! ahaha

sweet_candy_ 17

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:32

He might be having bad dreams just stay away from him at night.

elmosworld11 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:33

hahahahahaha

nerdsgetmehot 22

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:35

If I were you, I would invest in a baseball helmet.

elmosworld11 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:35

bahahaha are you stupid?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 83

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 142

You deserved it 11 901

The Top

Today, my first and only true date ended with the girl saying, "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 051

You deserved it 2 491

Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 5 948

Today, I got a call from my panicking grandmother. I asked her what was going on, and she explained that, “Godzilla doesn’t work.” Not really understanding, I asked her to clarify. “Yes, you know, Godzilla, to go on the internet.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 760

You deserved it 1 153

Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 198

You deserved it 5 353

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said, "Excuse me…" The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 225

You deserved it 3 529

Today, my boss walked down to my office with me to get some paperwork after a very tense, important meeting. He patiently waited while I tried to unlock my office door with my remote for my car. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 560

You deserved it 25 754