Miscellaneous: Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese... - FML

By nipman - 25/04/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 200

You deserved it 3 854

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Same thing different taste

By notanightowlanymore - 05/01/2016 17:44 - United States - Clyde

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 2 124

Class act

By Superfly - 19/07/2021 18:01

Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 476

Sleeping danger

By Lovernotafighter - 24/02/2012 11:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 415

You deserved it 2 180

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 22:59 - Australia - Redland Bay

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 570

You deserved it 5 030

By Gomer - 11/04/2014 14:51 - United States - New York

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 450

You deserved it 5 865

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 349

The future

By omen - 02/09/2020 10:01 - Indonesia - Majalengka

Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 909

You deserved it 2 347

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 495

You deserved it 5 412

Who are you?

By forgotten - 02/10/2009 07:46 - United Kingdom

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 502

You deserved it 2 826

Next

Top comments

xAustinZx 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 0:32

just be glad he didn't have a flame thrower

flipstar530 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 0:31

BONDING TIME!!

Comments

superpoptart 24

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:07

aww :( poor grandpa! he prolly has alzeimers

bearley54 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:07

my dad sits up and yells, waking ip everyone in the house. if you touch him, he starts to punch anything he can until he waked up.

bzett 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:08

whered he get the bat?!?!

cashmoney1902 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:26

thats from drake and josh

ZoSo_LedZeppelin 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:33

maybe you shouldn't squint so much... get some glasses

Infernari 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:34

OP, you might want to consider taking away his bat...

88sforlife 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:38

bondin te

shaayyy 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:40

bahaha my comment was moderated for saying "drake and josh..." yes, something like this did happen on drake and josh. but when did i call this fml fake? moderators, please stop being such pricks, thanks (:

FreebirdIII 1

Tuesday 26 April 2011 5:42

Now you have rabies.

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The Top

Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 982

You deserved it 4 898

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 205

You deserved it 6 457

The Top

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 072

You deserved it 4 607

Today, I took my newborn son to his one week weight check appointment. The pediatrician said, “OK, and he’s here today with his mom and big brother?” He thought my husband, who is 21 months older than me, was my son. How old do I look? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 180

Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 838

You deserved it 415

Today, as always, my mother hates my life choices. Particularly my hair for some reason. As she's always whinging about it being dyed blonde, I dyed it back to my natural colour again to appease her, and stop the constant bullying. She hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 206

Today, I fell asleep in the middle of an online class. Now everyone calls me Sleeping Beauty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 1 069

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were messing around and I always jokingly say "You're adopted, nobody loves you" to everybody. His reply, "That's pretty fucked up, I am adopted." He really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 670

You deserved it 76 828