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That sucks. It's similar to the feeling "oh shit my boyfriends parents are hardcore Catholic and I'm Wiccan." But in the end if you love him then I wish you two a good life if your grandma approves or not.

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That sucks. It's similar to the feeling "oh shit my boyfriends parents are hardcore Catholic and I'm Wiccan." But in the end if you love him then I wish you two a good life if your grandma approves or not.

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Just warn your fiancé before your grandma and him meet so he's not shocked. My husbands father is very sexist and that's just the way he is because that's the family dynamic he grew up in. He warned me about it before I first met him, and it helped a lot.

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#61 seriously? No one mentioned Miley so it seems you are off on the real world issues.And the bad part about "discussing real world issues" is that you have so many opinionated people ready to point the finger at everyone but themselves. With that being said, sorry OP.If you're happy that's all that counts.You don't need anyone's approval on the one you love.Good luck!

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Religious differences are a different issue because their whole viewpoints and ways of life would clash repeatedly, but with race the only difference is appearance (and culture).

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Why does one have to hide and sneak who they are with. No matter how lovely or rich the fiance might be the grandma will probably hate him and write OP out of her will. Might even blast het name off the family Tapestry for good measure. HAG

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Lol, my black friend once hid in a dark stairwell and we couldn't see him because he was black and in dark clothes. Just leave the lights low and introduce him as your invisible boyfriend.

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Not saying it is right, but the older generation is set in its ways in most cases. They were raised believing that this was the correct way of thinking. The best way to break the pattern is exposure to other races, which they probably didn't have enough of on a social level. The unknown makes for ignorance and ignorance makes for racism.

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5- It's sad that it happens anywhere, even up here in Canada, but especially when it's family doing it. My grandpa is a bit racist too, and trying to deal with that isn't always fun, having a "mixed bloodline" background myself. As it is, my sister is marrying a very nice fellow of Chinese descent, and I'm just glad he politely ignored my gramps first comment being about us "hooking up with the chinks now??" Smooth gramps, thanks a lot for first impressions. :p

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16 - My grandma is the same way. She's 83, she isn't gonna change now. I remember when I was 8 or 9 she told me not to play with the black kids at the park across the street because 'they have bugs and you'll get them'. My aunt's boyfriend is worse, but I told him off for that because he's in his 40's and should know better.

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A lot of older people base their views of other ethnicities on ways of life that no longer exist and events from their own (now distant) past. If you go back forty years in American history, race riots were current events, black neighborhoods Had poverty and crime rates ten times that of white neighborhoods and America had been at war in their lifetime with two Asian Pacific countries. So their stereotypes reflect the faded reality of their childhood. People don't change easily. Even now you still hear younger people spreading hatred towards "lazy minorities" and "the evil rich white man" and blaming one or the other for all their ills.

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The stereotypes didn't necessarily reflect reality. There were lots of prosperous black neighborhoods as well. In North Carolina, some black towns were either burned down by whites or taken over when the black businesses got to be too prosperous or influential. This has happened elsewhere. In the poor areas, crime was high because the police didn't patrol there as much or there were no foot patrols. If you were in a white neighborhood, there was a police presence. When white people wanted to buy drugs, they'd go to a black neighborhood (no cops), get their drugs and come home and laugh about it later.

Just because she's afraid of black people as a group doesn't mean her mind can't be changed by a personal relationship with one. Hopefully that's the case, at least. Introduce them and be ready to leave if grams throws a fit or takes cheap shots.

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Tell your Granny that you lost a bet between friends and were sold to your fiancé, likely due to some Karmic travesty she or your grandpa committed. Or that you're gonna get pregnant and sell the kid into slavery. That always goes over well with the old timers.

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