Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help...

By shocked - 25/08/2011 18:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 732

You deserved it 5 119

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Same thing different taste

Are you experienced?

By Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 247

You deserved it 9 418

By imy - 18/10/2011 15:01 - United States

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 129

You deserved it 9 457

YDI Fosho

By shuffling man - 12/08/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 397

You deserved it 4 045

By Soline - 08/12/2008 12:05 - France

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 224

You deserved it 9 033

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 213

You deserved it 396

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 604

You deserved it 90 928

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 336

You deserved it 4 393

By instinct - 12/06/2013 03:06 - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 817

You deserved it 78 230

Horny devil

By jimboxo - 26/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 647

You deserved it 10 882

Bondage prank [GONE SEXUAL]

By ldn - 21/03/2013 17:54 - Slovenia - Domzale

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 720

You deserved it 12 975

deviable 9

Friday 26 August 2011 2:00

Bow chika bow wow.

9987coldplayfan 1

Friday 26 August 2011 2:06

Did you return the favor?

Comments

AcidLacedBong 5

Friday 26 August 2011 2:11

She's a keeper!!

BrittanyB94 0

Friday 26 August 2011 2:11

Well there's a keeper!

Isoldael 27

Friday 26 August 2011 2:11

Well, at least she was trying to be nice. And who knows, she might let you return the favour (if you're into that)

Midrash 5

Friday 26 August 2011 2:12

Bet you'll never ask her for anal after this.

MangoRico1 1

Friday 26 August 2011 2:13

Guess we know who is in charge now

red1355 6

Friday 26 August 2011 2:18

AWSOME!!!!! Now its her turn...! Lol

lemon_aids 0

Friday 26 August 2011 2:22

surprize buttsecks!

MyScrewedUpLifeS 0

Friday 26 August 2011 4:58

win.

angrymexican 8

Saturday 27 August 2011 20:05

My friend keeps saying that where is it from

david12z 0

Friday 26 August 2011 2:25

Ha ha damn that sucks man but hey atleast she knows you'd never cheat with a guy since you didn't like it.

mazochyst 10

Friday 26 August 2011 2:27

Who says OP didn't like it?

F0xyTurtle 8

Friday 26 August 2011 2:29

The fact that he posted it on FML

twofirstnames 12

Friday 26 August 2011 2:26

If you got a thrill from that, let's not hope it happens in the doctors office..

drloves69 4

Friday 26 August 2011 2:30

yet she won't let you guys try anal. never mind

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 905

You deserved it 74 253

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 153

You deserved it 68 066

The Top

Today, my husband went to pick my mom up from the airport, but apparently they got in one of their arguments on the way home, so he dumped her at a Starbucks and came home without her. He won’t even tell me which Starbucks, and when I rang her she gave useless directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 273

Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 598

You deserved it 9 300

Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 187

You deserved it 3 309

Today, since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve watched so much porn I think I’ve given myself a friction burn on my clit, so now not only does it hurt to even walk normally, it’s way too painful to masturbate, so I’m now horny all the frigging time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 1 244

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that my school was "too expensive" and he "couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii; apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 596

You deserved it 3 612

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 519

You deserved it 29 595

Same thing different taste

Are you experienced?

YDI Fosho

Stuff

Horny devil

Bondage prank [GONE SEXUAL]

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