Sex and Awkward: Stuff

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 213

You deserved it 396

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Same thing different taste

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 582

You deserved it 1 181

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 113

You deserved it 23 450

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 574

You deserved it 6 207

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 9 503

The geyser

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 953

You deserved it 401

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 095

You deserved it 5 531

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 372

You deserved it 746

By shmarf - 20/06/2015 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 800

You deserved it 19 597

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 651

You deserved it 8 159

Feed me with your kiss

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 08:00

Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 905

You deserved it 784

Aphrodite 20

Saturday 25 May 2019 4:35

Um, how old is your gf?

manb91gb 15

Saturday 25 May 2019 4:38

I don't blame her... That's millions of potential children she's about to swallow and destroy.. Even Dr Strange couldn't handle that!

Comments

Aphrodite 20

Saturday 25 May 2019 4:35

Um, how old is your gf?

revidffum69 22

Saturday 25 May 2019 5:20

First thing I thought.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 25 May 2019 19:09

Worried me, too. Unless she was completely sheltered before they met, and he managed to get her to blow him, but forgot to mention the happy ending.

manb91gb 15

Saturday 25 May 2019 4:38

I don't blame her... That's millions of potential children she's about to swallow and destroy.. Even Dr Strange couldn't handle that!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 25 May 2019 5:26

If she’s not, you’re not doing it right!

Sinshine 28

Saturday 25 May 2019 6:49

Why are you getting ******** from 8-years-olds?

Bubbilility 27

Saturday 25 May 2019 15:51

... how old are you? How old is she? Was she a virgin? Or was it more she doesn't like the taste, or she's afraid of getting it in her hair/eyes?

Mooglefox 23

Saturday 25 May 2019 15:52

What was she thinking was gonna come out?

Iamthebanzai22 20

Saturday 25 May 2019 17:39

Son, If you have to make airplane noises to get it in she is TOO YOUNG.

Chen Zhibang 8

Sunday 26 May 2019 3:42

This is brilliant.

Bevis Butthead 4

Thursday 29 August 2019 17:26

Is she like 9 years old or Amish?

randybryant799 20

Tuesday 15 February 2022 5:35

Good god. How old is she??

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 961

You deserved it 6 334

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Turns out we only have one thing in common: we would both bang Hillary Clinton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 180

You deserved it 4 623

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 433

You deserved it 6 564

Today, I was an altar server at my Catholic church. I wore a long white robe and at the end of Mass, I grabbed my candle and bowed to the altar. I turned around and started walking down the aisle. The woman behind me came up quickly to tell me I had bled through my robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 109

Today, I had to follow a diversion route home due to roadworks. It took me an hour longer than usual to get home. Too bad it turns out that the diversion was only for traffic, not people walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 6 318

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 019

You deserved it 3 128

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 34 688