Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales....

By Gonzales - 07/08/2015 19:47 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 5 666

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Same thing different taste

By NinjaPanda88 - 01/08/2009 07:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 879

You deserved it 16 892

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 08:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 185

You deserved it 3 535

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 101

You deserved it 10 949

By mynameisnotdrew - 17/02/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaimed, "That was amazing Drew." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name, which doesn't sound anything like Drew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 031

You deserved it 4 108

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 584

You deserved it 3 835

Call me by my name

By Tim Scotten - 18/05/2021 06:01

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 243

By syl - 11/02/2010 06:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 306

You deserved it 5 219

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 610

You deserved it 4 860

In the heat of the moment

By Anonymous - 27/05/2023 00:02

Today, I was going at it with my boyfriend when he asked what nickname I wanted to be called. I told him to make something up. A few seconds later, he called me Buzz Lightyear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 479

By off to the whorehouse, then - 31/03/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 917

You deserved it 7 805

lickastick 27

Saturday 8 August 2015 15:34

Doesn't matter, had sex

Emmamazing 26

Saturday 8 August 2015 15:41

At least your girlfriend has a good sense of humour about it, OP.

Comments

Ahall8 0

Monday 10 August 2015 5:03

Not necessarily a bad thing....for a quickie

mzshannababy 16

Monday 10 August 2015 5:42

shes clever

thenielsens 12

Monday 10 August 2015 5:55

Buurn!!!

americanafrican 32

Monday 10 August 2015 15:58

Fastest one around

thathoeoverthere 7

Tuesday 11 August 2015 0:13

I feel like they can be an insult or a compliment.

musicaddict245 6

Tuesday 11 August 2015 21:45

That's probably the name of her ex boyfriend

losercancer 9

Friday 14 August 2015 22:35

Mine was named "Inglorious Basterd" once..

Papa_Moti_Junior 4

Wednesday 19 August 2015 23:18

Your girlfriend is going places bro.

HaplessChef 4

Monday 24 August 2015 2:32

slow your roll. (stamina is an aquired skill...perfect practice makes perfect) ;)

lilfox67 13

Wednesday 28 October 2015 2:20

Better than squirtel lol

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I agree, your life sucks 866

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Same thing different taste

Call me by my name

In the heat of the moment

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