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98, OP has balls. If he didn't, he would have begged to stay with his now ex and be a better father to their stuffed owl.

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68, it happens all the time. I'm usually the one to point out that the comments were posted literally at the same exact time and, usually, people lay off.

Pretty sure that your girlfriend just did you a favor. Could you imagine what it would have been like if you'd let somebody else hold your hypothetical daughter?

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I am wondering how she got hypothetically pregnant. Do you suppose they broke their hypothetical condom?

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I second this. Seriously think about what your life would've been like if you ended marrying a girl who freaks out about you dropping a stuffed animal? Next thing you know she'll be freaking out about forgetting to take your imaginary dog to the vet, hiring a scarecrow for a babysitter, wake you up in the middle of the night to calm the imaginary screaming baby... Seriously she did you a favor... I mean really

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The owl would have always been a bastard since OP wasn't married to the girl, not just now because they broke up

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OP is also a bastard, just not in the literal sense like the stuffed owl. He shoulda been more careful with his inanimate objects...

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Hagrid says "you're a wizard Harry" I know the reference but 19 took it in a different direction so I went with that

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You're a bastard, Harry .... Think its more of an old school and classic movie reference unless I miss the mark entirely.

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