Animals: Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog...

By Twiggysucks68 - 07/01/2013 01:49 - United States - Antioch

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 316

You deserved it 2 822

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Same thing different taste

By Lilly - 30/10/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 961

You deserved it 4 369

Deflection

By Richard - 25/06/2012 03:03 - United States - Uxbridge

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 484

You deserved it 6 197

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - 21/09/2016 07:17 - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 304

You deserved it 1 221

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/04/2021 11:00 - Germany - Papenburg

Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 259

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 277

You deserved it 10 111

By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 21:29 - Denmark

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 414

You deserved it 34 821

MAKE UP YOUR MIND

By preggo eggo - 30/11/2017 16:00

Today, after months of my fiancé begging me to have a baby with him, I found out I’m pregnant. He doesn’t want a baby anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 184

You deserved it 540

By Anon. - 05/05/2016 21:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 703

You deserved it 2 366

Good boy

By doggylove - 13/11/2015 03:57 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 617

You deserved it 2 223

Hold me close

By chachi - 28/09/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 119

You deserved it 6 746

zingline89 18

Monday 7 January 2013 9:24

Speaking from experience, he'll be sorry for assuming a baby will be like a pet. I was very disappointed when my baby daughter was unwilling to use a litter box.

misspulkadot24 17

Monday 7 January 2013 9:14

Give him one of those realistic dolls that shit, cry, scream, and pee. He'll change his mind.

Comments

Vidimus 13

Monday 7 January 2013 14:36

Suggestion to find a friend with children already, the younger the better, and have him babysit for a short while. I'm sure the illusion will vanish soon enough.

mattuti 8

Monday 7 January 2013 14:47

OP, please, do NOT let him reproduce!

skyeyez9 24

Monday 7 January 2013 16:34

Some babies are more laid back than others. Mine screamed nonstop for hours at a time (colic) in the middle of the night, and made me want to curl into a ball and die. Others like my brother in law was so quiet and calm. He slept alot and even had to be woken up to eat and have his diapers chnged.

WeskersSexslave 15

Monday 7 January 2013 16:37

well dogs are cuter and better than useless babies

screenager5 35

Friday 11 January 2013 7:13

Pretty sure they aren't useless...

Life_sucks_13 6

Monday 7 January 2013 16:44

Get him one of those babies you get in high school to take care of for health. He'll regret it after that

thew_fml 14

Monday 7 January 2013 17:49

people need to stop thinking about what having babies is like and start thinking what having children is like. you have a baby for like 30 seconds. you have a child for a lifetime

Grimnirwher9 21

Monday 7 January 2013 18:39

If your baby turns into a toddler "like 30 seconds" after being born, I advise you find medical assistance, because (s)he is likely to have a sincere case of progeria.

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 7 January 2013 18:22

You and your fiance need to find a friend with a baby and offer to babysit for a weekend. He'll surely change his tune that it's as easy as caring for a dog!

asnakelovinbabe 16

Monday 7 January 2013 18:50

You never know! My baby was just like that... She never cried as a newborn.... Our friends used to want to strangle us because of how damned lucky we are!