Animals: Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having...

By Cecilly2010 - 28/04/2011 15:53

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 611

You deserved it 5 241

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 2 463

Asshole

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 20:38 - Netherlands - Mierlo

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 135

You deserved it 3 230

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

By Anonymous - 09/12/2014 21:14 - United States - Margate City

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 598

You deserved it 3 144

Every day is Caturday

By Anonymous - 16/11/2012 00:36 - United States - Panama City

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 523

You deserved it 1 832

By Deadman - 02/04/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 890

You deserved it 2 528

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 652

You deserved it 3 394

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 493

You deserved it 3 031

By Anonymous - 22/02/2010 16:38 - United States

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 718

You deserved it 3 426

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 2 773

samsanpoet 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 19:00

yeah why cant he be like the dog on the beggin' strips commercial! lazy dog

Insane_Tea 15

Thursday 28 April 2011 19:01

Well someone's gotta be put to work. Booze isn't going to buy itself ya' hear.

Comments

bob1256 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:20

he has a point I have a chihuahua and that bastard is mowing lawns ;D lmao

bootystank 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:26

that just made my day!!!! ha ha!!!!

jdbest21 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:33

lol

bootystank 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:34

that is hilarious

j_cat187 19

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:42

ur dog should file for unemployment

jimmyjim13 5

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:43

nutella is so good you cant resist

sparxva 12

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:47

Youtube moment!

solidus106 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:52

hey he's not yelling at u!!.... if it ain't broke don't fix it...and if u do decide to fix it, buy a jar of nutella for a "just in case"

babymaee 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:57



MMAbram 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 23:01

Hahahaha. How is this an FML? That's ******* funny!

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Relatable Abuse Birthday Scams Money Social Media Kids School Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Fight Family Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 915

The Top

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 188

You deserved it 3 065

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 531

You deserved it 15 543

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I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 141

Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 1 109

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 249

You deserved it 6 134

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of, "Who the hell is this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 656

You deserved it 4 686