Relationships and Alcohol: Drunken antics - FML

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 14:01

Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 1 109

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:07 - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 562

You deserved it 56 752

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 447

You deserved it 25 214

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 266

You deserved it 62 360

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 920

You deserved it 23 214

By rebekah - 03/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463 275

You deserved it 77 120

By Amy (grossed out) - 27/04/2014 13:43 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 717

You deserved it 6 061

By anyoi - 25/04/2012 22:43 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 310

You deserved it 3 435

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 915

You deserved it 4 004

By whiskey'swino - 09/06/2019 14:19

Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 257

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 320

Next

Top comments

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 21 December 2020 19:27

Anyone who gets blackout drunk is an automatic YDI in my book.

Seeya55 31

Tuesday 22 December 2020 17:22

Blackout Drunk- YDI BF that will help you that far NOT drunk- you've got a fantastic guy!

Comments

TCRII 29

Monday 21 December 2020 17:24

I love fishing... For FISH!

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 21 December 2020 19:27

Anyone who gets blackout drunk is an automatic YDI in my book.

HokieJ 10

Monday 21 December 2020 21:13

What type of bait was he using?

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 22 December 2020 3:38

I bet if he had found one it would have come as quite the (toxic) shock.

dasin 18

Tuesday 22 December 2020 8:54

heard a saying once "never go full retard"

Seeya55 31

Tuesday 22 December 2020 17:22

Blackout Drunk- YDI BF that will help you that far NOT drunk- you've got a fantastic guy!

aaa143143 15

Wednesday 23 December 2020 8:01

You should re-evaluate your life choices

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 476

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 110

You deserved it 5 027

The Top

Today, I told my mom I was leaving early to give my boyfriend a ride to work. She asked me why on Earth I’m even attracted to someone who doesn’t have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 395

Today, I was in the middle of a chemistry exam when I felt an urgent need to fart that was difficult to hold in. I sit in the back, so I tried to do the "One Cheek Sneak." It came out sounding like a loud, obnoxious kazoo. The professor remarked, "No hazardous chemicals outside the lab!" Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 215

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 418

You deserved it 7 975

Today, it's my 18th birthday. As I moved out of home to study, and currently spend 95% of my wage on rent, I asked my mother for any amount of money as my gift. I desperately need new shoes and underwear, and haven't eaten for two days. Instead, I got a pair of earrings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 936

You deserved it 577

Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 143

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 32 888