Miscellaneous: Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper....

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 759

You deserved it 4 992

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Same thing different taste

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 242

By Anon - 04/08/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 035

You deserved it 4 124

By itchybollos - 16/09/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 058

You deserved it 3 341

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 490

You deserved it 4 171

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 156

You deserved it 3 830

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 668

You deserved it 2 952

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 6 820

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 321

You deserved it 6 836

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 616

You deserved it 5 062

By annonymous - 18/06/2012 01:57 - United States

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 2 043

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:07

Ha ha! Your dad is awesome! If the guys have any sense of humour they will know your dad was taking the piss out of you. But then again it could be your dads way of keeping you away from boys. Either way Dad: 1 Daughter: 0

roxii__x 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:06

"URRRRGH, DAD!"

Comments

jSOPURE 3

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:22

Your Dad is full of win. :)

silenceinspace 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:47

Number 8: What the hell is wrong with you? "he loves you enough to mess with you"? That makes me ill. I bet that when he was younger, if his friend had done that to him, he would've thrown a damn fit. Hell, I bet you would too. You should really consider the fact that some people have rotten parents who don't always say things in jest.

TryToBeKind 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:54

In other words, "Stay away from my daughter." Or something to that effect OT but sorta similar My sister's guy-friend Ken used to act like he was her boyfriend (change how he looked at her, put his arm around her etc.) when guys she wanted to flirt with were around. Later, he explained that it was because she had turned down his best friend and his cousin because she 'liked being single too much' and didn't want to change that but she hated hurting the good guy's feelings. So he acted like she was taken to prevent her from accidentally giving the wrong impression. I thought it was brilliant, and he was doing her a favor. A lot nicer than her female friend: Sister turned down Friend's brother (who would have treated her GREAT compared to other boyfriends, she coul dhave just skipped that dating around part by being with him) and friend reacted by telling everyone she had an STD. My sister wanted to be single, she got what she wanted. That was a cruel way to make sure it happened though. I liked her guy-friend's idea better.

musicislife_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:05

ughh.. that's something my dad would do :( I'm so sorry...

elliebelle1990 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:06

get over it. its not like the guys were going to ask you out right then and there anyways...

Fnukk 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:10

They are probably just laughing because your dad is awesome.

npk1112 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:41

#43....you're a moron. end of story.

tehhotness 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:45

#43 needs some Midol

BaldOuting 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 20:54

finally a dad story! all the stories lately have been about moms doing funny things.

brwneyedgrl1989 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:05

I completely agree with #48 and #49 chill out #43 it was obviously a joke... Be happy your dad has a sense of humor, it makes life a lot more enjoyable, and besides years from now you will probably be doing it to your own kids. My dad would have done the same exact things, all you can do is smile and say "thank god in a couple of years I wont have to deal with this! " My dad can't wait for me to have kids so he can teach them all of the "cool" ie annoying things he does! so live a little and enjoy it.