Miscellaneous: Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really...

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 668

You deserved it 2 952

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Same thing different taste

By Not-pregnant - 20/04/2014 17:21 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 613

You deserved it 4 882

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 13:12 - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 341

You deserved it 2 859

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 759

You deserved it 4 992

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 242

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 12:37 - Australia - West End

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 760

You deserved it 3 079

Confused

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 23:36 - United States - Rahway

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 551

You deserved it 6 009

McSteamy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 11:00

Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 2 126

Dad jokes FTW!

By rositaleigh - 01/07/2019 00:06

Today, my father and I were out in town when a lady walked up and commented on what a great looking couple we were. My dad puts his arm around me and says "Thank you! We've been together for 17 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 230

Alexa, play "Your Daddy's Car" by The Divine Comedy

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 18:00

Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 1 445

By traumatized - 18/06/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 208

You deserved it 3 599

MassiDelta 28

Thursday 1 October 2015 1:26

Some say OP is still cringing to this very day...

Mechazilla2 15

Thursday 1 October 2015 1:32

On the bright side, he didn't say " so was your sister."

Comments

MassiDelta 28

Thursday 1 October 2015 1:26

Some say OP is still cringing to this very day...

mds9986 24

Thursday 1 October 2015 7:20

Legend has it that OP's face cringed so hard it collapsed into itself, creating a wormhole to another galaxy.

Nick_Pat91 9

Thursday 1 October 2015 18:03

The legends are true: to this day, I'm still cringing at the memories, although 'Cringe' MAY BE a bit of an understatement here... Hi everyone, OP here. I had to create an account to start replying. This had actually happened several weeks ago, and I had tried so very, VERY hard to block out the memory of this event. The trauma only came back recently when I had heard someone use the phrase 'tight squeeze'. So I felt the need to assuage this emotional pain by sharing it on here. Sort of like a group therapy session really.... Anyways love your comments! Pretty funny stuff!