Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on... - FML

By Rowden - 26/04/2010 09:58 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 280

You deserved it 9 627

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Same thing different taste

By hannah12345 - 26/02/2010 17:54 - France

Spicy

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 811

You deserved it 31 848

By Anonymous - 23/01/2011 00:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 521

You deserved it 14 745

By fml - 07/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 693

You deserved it 24 963

Desperate

By yourmainman - 28/01/2013 05:03 - Canada

Spicy

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 918

You deserved it 15 957

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 086

You deserved it 5 776

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 450

You deserved it 10 579

By Jumja - 15/01/2010 11:37 - Netherlands

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 202

You deserved it 5 708

Food fight

By hss - 30/05/2011 01:59 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 854

You deserved it 49 688

By skiittlez713 - 20/05/2011 08:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 300

You deserved it 16 563

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 120

You deserved it 10 610

Next

Top comments

karina_said 0

Monday 26 April 2010 16:02

your boyfriend is a pussy

luvmybby062308 0

Monday 26 April 2010 16:07

You should've told him you two would burn it off in a couple minutes(;

Comments

Bbaker789 0

Monday 26 April 2010 21:33

He has to be gay if he refuses to lick whip cream off a girls tit

greensoul024 0

Monday 26 April 2010 21:59

he just likes men. lol "but it's so eeewy!!"

texasmadeG 0

Monday 26 April 2010 22:01

lol thats too ******* funny!(:

varkey 7

Monday 26 April 2010 22:15

wtf? how did you manage to spill whipped cream on your NIPPLES? and why would you ask your boyfriend to lick it off? just get a freaking napkin idiot. while i love whipped cream, that is the weirdest thing i've ever heard... first, why would you just want to eat plain whipped cream without anything else, and second, why would you want to lick it off of somebody once they have spilled it? YDI retard.

sosadrightnow 4

Monday 26 April 2010 22:25

you're joking, right? please tell me you're joking.

locomotion 0

Monday 26 April 2010 22:44

...

kidsanchez1 4

Tuesday 27 April 2010 0:06

ur boyfriend iseither 1.GAY 2.cheating on u or 3.both of those

UncleverName_FYL 0

Tuesday 27 April 2010 23:33

lmfao

luciousp 1

Monday 26 April 2010 22:51

My girlfriend won't let me do anything with whipped cream. I really want to put some on me and have her.. you know. Or even on her too. She gives the same excuse! =/.

sertralinaa 2

Monday 26 April 2010 22:56

Ahh gotta love Underoos! :D

maddie1 0

Monday 26 April 2010 23:03

gay...

LexSpades 4

Monday 26 April 2010 23:11

I'll lick it off u without a doubt

cmarlo57 0

Monday 26 April 2010 23:15

I'll lick the whip cream off your nipples lmao

StJimmy117 0

Monday 26 April 2010 23:15

how is this an FML

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Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Relatable Abuse Money Scams Social Media School Kids Education Parents Health Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 101

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I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 1 941

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 13 579

You deserved it 824

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I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 105

Today, after a lot of effort put into it and finally getting a scholarship, they emailed me saying they can't afford to fund me because they were impacted by the pandemic. I'd already denied other scholarship offers because theirs was the best offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 119

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I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 128

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 474

You deserved it 6 034

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I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 372