Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house...

By bobin - 29/08/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 277

You deserved it 6 301

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Same thing different taste

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 550

You deserved it 6 818

Snooze fest

By Karly - 03/02/2022 20:00

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 226

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 208

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 247

You deserved it 19 303

Crazy nights

By Ugh... - 20/07/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 541

You deserved it 10 067

Worn out

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 16:09 - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 901

You deserved it 5 985

By Sleepy head - 07/10/2013 01:34 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 752

You deserved it 15 031

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 346

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 314

By anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 5 936

arcticdoctorwho 0

Monday 29 August 2011 22:31

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

kkmwong 11

Monday 29 August 2011 22:35

Food first, sex second.

Comments

nixophebia 5

Tuesday 30 August 2011 1:18

Get to know your boyfriend, he probably is one of those people who wont wake up unless you ply them with coffee or breakfast.

ben9694 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 1:23

You can't pound on an empty stomach

xrainbowshadowx 17

Tuesday 30 August 2011 1:24

Food > Sex.

ben9694 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 1:26

Well if u were having sex your friend would have walked in on y'all......

aria78 19

Friday 29 August 2014 20:10

threesome!

ughfuck1234 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 1:27

Why were you going to have sex if your friend was around?

citygurlsleeps11 3

Tuesday 30 August 2011 1:29

Food first. Sex second.

davek 36

Tuesday 30 August 2011 2:08

Something about fetching a goddamn sammich...

1911_Angel 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 2:28

Next time fix your man a sammich, then have sex!

1911_Angel 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 2:38

Next time fix your man a sammich and then have sex!

mcintosh123 15

Tuesday 30 August 2011 3:19

I'm just like your boyfriend haha my girlfriend slap me all the time and tell me it was a slap of love

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The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 682

You deserved it 7 123

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 228

Today, on Thanksgiving, I asked my kid what she is thankful for. "My tablet." I had just told her I was thankful for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 733

You deserved it 2 259

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I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 1 548

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 637

You deserved it 6 016

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 325

You deserved it 3 845

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 978

You deserved it 6 687