Animals: Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog....

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 16:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 735

You deserved it 4 233

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Same thing different taste

Loser

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 01:00

Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 760

You deserved it 10 999

By Addicted2FML303 - 06/12/2010 22:50 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 761

You deserved it 5 258

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 13:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 794

You deserved it 4 352

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 16:51 - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 141

You deserved it 2 387

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 471

Manly men fighting

By Anonymous - 05/06/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 255

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 210

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 996

You deserved it 2 091

By Blindsided - 08/10/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend’s dog decided that his stomach needed a month’s supply of contacts more than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 615

You deserved it 314

Philliesfan9391 3

Tuesday 4 October 2011 22:33

Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.

holeyman 8

Tuesday 4 October 2011 22:33

Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.

Comments

savmut 8

Wednesday 5 October 2011 2:13

Your boyfriend's an ass. It's his fault he got injured.

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 5 October 2011 2:14

Never put a retarded bf before your dog. Your is a loyal companion and doesn't deserve a death sentence over your bf's stupid drunken behavior.

scottgeo 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 2:16

At least he got the right end and didnt try to stick his tongue up its ass.

guitarplayer546 0

Wednesday 5 October 2011 2:25

The boyfriend should be the one put down.

Imgonnahaveabf 9

Wednesday 5 October 2011 2:25

If you are going to agree and put your dog down, you are nothing better than a complete bootycall.

ElectricEffect 13

Wednesday 5 October 2011 2:31

Gee, now did I know ever comment I'd read when opening this FML would be along the lines of "Don't kill the doggy, kill the bastard evil devil of a boyfriend!!" or "You're boyfriend is an alcoholic, dump him!". Come on, FML users. You're all like a really shrill broken record. For one, none of us no the history, or violent tendencies the dog may have. And two, we don't know the boyfriend is an alcoholic, just because it was stated he got drunk once. For all we know his girlfriend was just as drunk as he was laughing her ass off at the sight. On a final note. We know nothing about their relationship or how happy they are together, much less the seriousness and length of the relationship. Life is not as black and white as "break up" every time your significant other does something you dislike. Ignorance must truly be bliss. Some of you people make me wonder why I even read the comment section.

Iellwen 12

Thursday 27 October 2011 10:19

Dude, the boyfriend got drunk so bad he tried to french-kiss a DOG and when he got what he deserved for acting like a complete moron with a tendency towards zoophilia, he actually wanted to dog dead. How you cannot comprehend why most people (I'd say SANE people but you might find it offensive...) would dump the moron, I cannot comprehend. Comprende?