Love: Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing...

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 864

You deserved it 6 076

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ugh - 20/06/2015 10:45 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 688

You deserved it 2 825

Alexa, play "Charmless Man" by Blur

By Scaredafffff - 12/05/2021 14:03

Today, I accidentally changed the radio station in my boyfriend’s car. He threw a humongous fit and started driving recklessly, almost causing an accident on several occasions. He then dropped me off at a stop sign and told me to, "walk home, you need to lose weight anyway, fat bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 247

By iJuli - 08/04/2012 05:17 - United States - Billings

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 392

You deserved it 2 670

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 653

You deserved it 9 952

By Carolyn Burnham - 23/10/2016 15:23

Today, I was at the local drive-thru with my boyfriend. While we were picking up the food, the asswipe at the window thought it hilarious to copy the scene from "American Beauty" and pretend that we were a couple and that I was cheating on him. My actual boyfriend believed it and won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 056

You deserved it 1 022

By Jenna - 03/07/2012 23:20 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 737

You deserved it 38 796

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 07:28 - United States - Plainview

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 986

You deserved it 3 321

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 22:37 - United States - Denison

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 173

You deserved it 4 382

Hit and run

By whyme - 02/09/2016 04:33 - United States

Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 799

You deserved it 1 272

By Tallulah - 29/07/2011 06:56 - United Kingdom

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 434

You deserved it 6 564

Nyx_fml 23

Saturday 17 August 2013 5:27

You better tread lightly, OP.

ohhhsnapple 14

Saturday 17 August 2013 5:31

Username win.

Comments

olpally 32

Saturday 17 August 2013 5:44

Yeah, okay. We got a badass bf over here... What an idiot thing to do.

Nyx_fml 23

Saturday 17 August 2013 5:54

I agree. I mean, making a big deal because the boyfriend just wants to eat? Very idiotic of OP.

olpally 32

Saturday 17 August 2013 12:47

I'm talking about the bf you fool. I got the joke. I'm a tard. I have a habit of "accidentally" sitting on cucumbers. I love Grammar Nazis.

Nyx_fml 23

Saturday 17 August 2013 15:40

You didn't get my joke, though!

olpally 32

Sunday 18 August 2013 8:58

Ahhh, the FML mods corrected my 2nd comment on this thread. thanks for making me look like more of an idiot, that was uncalled for.

olpally 32

Sunday 18 August 2013 9:02

And the FML mods won't let me re correct my comment and reword my original comments. Thanks guys. Love ya too.

alexsandria83 18

Saturday 17 August 2013 6:14

Hope you dump that douchebag

Accept 11

Saturday 17 August 2013 6:35

OP's boyfriend is awesome. You've clearly have no sense of humor.

Marcelb 17

Saturday 17 August 2013 11:09

You're going to be so happy when you're 80 years old and alone because you've dumped every guy who made a joke or just wanted to eat for a bit without being nagged.