Love: Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big...

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 2 026

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Same thing different taste

Happy anniversary!

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 218

Kinda sus

By Unwanted - 21/10/2023 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. My husband said he had to work today and “rain checked” my birthday celebration for “god knows when, because I’m so busy. I’ll let you know.” A couple of months ago it was his female work bestie’s birthday and he got her a cake, balloon, flowers, and requested time off to take her out for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 123

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 025

You deserved it 590

By horribleday - 20/06/2017 09:00 - United States - Ozark

Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 704

You deserved it 415

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 12:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 166

You deserved it 9 674

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 107

You deserved it 4 237

Inappropriate crush

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 17:00

Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 351

By HLRJ - 29/08/2018 09:00 - United States - Concord

Today, after my husband said he forgot our anniversary 2 days ago because he was so focused on planning for today, he forgot what was so important about today. It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 132

You deserved it 249

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 453

By nocakeforyou! - 15/03/2011 13:11

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 205

You deserved it 14 060

Tripartita 44

Friday 20 November 2015 1:35

Oh, yeah, when I was employed as a Selfish Prick, it made gift giving extremely difficult. The pay wasn't even that good.

Psycocharger 19

Friday 20 November 2015 1:28

So rude of him!!! You should hide his beer for revenge >:)

Comments

dbkwow 4

Friday 20 November 2015 6:39

.n. you said "my" apparently you only think of yourself... What did you get him?

nyf137 20

Friday 20 November 2015 7:51

I swear I missed something here, are you seriously asking OP if she got something for her husband to celebrate *her* birthday?

Tannasgh 22

Friday 20 November 2015 7:01

Going to be a magical next 20 years...

alanna_ann 14

Friday 20 November 2015 7:55

ouch, I think it's time for a talk with the hubby?

janfleury 19

Friday 20 November 2015 8:04

I'm sorry OP. Happy Birthday treat yourself to a great gift like a life free of his crap.

Jonfun 14

Friday 20 November 2015 8:33

OP What's love got to do with it?

takeittoem 8

Friday 20 November 2015 10:19

Your husband's an asshole.

AwkwardKarma 18

Friday 20 November 2015 11:51

You need to have serious conversation with him about his priorities. Maybe therapy?

mongoosemike 23

Friday 20 November 2015 11:59

Your husband is a drunken douche.

Alexandria79 22

Friday 20 November 2015 12:01

hugs. happy birthday OP!

simsgirlgem 25

Friday 20 November 2015 14:07

wow not even a small bouquet from walmart talk about jerky

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The Top

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 409

You deserved it 2 826

Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 143

The Top

Today, I became the center of attraction of my office floor after sending my resumé to my work Whatsapp group, asking them to share with their friends for job openings. My VP is owner of the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 6 046

Today, we had a substitute teacher. She was taking attendance and had trouble pronouncing my last name. When I corrected her, I heard her mutter under her breath about, “Goddamn Mexican immigrants…” I’m from Greek ancestry, born in the USA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 131

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 149

You deserved it 3 298

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 909

You deserved it 5 342

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 566

You deserved it 3 704

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 025

You deserved it 251

Same thing different taste

Happy anniversary!

Kinda sus

Inappropriate crush

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