Love: Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my...

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 158

You deserved it 6 974

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 888

You deserved it 13 690

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 21/06/2019 04:30

Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 276

By miss tomato - 08/06/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 496

You deserved it 5 666

By hopelessteej - 28/01/2013 13:55 - Australia - Sydney

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 134

You deserved it 4 093

By titou - 05/01/2009 03:33 - France

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 723

You deserved it 32 627

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 531

You deserved it 5 360

By msnewyearseve - 01/01/2012 17:19 - United States

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 867

You deserved it 33 116

By Raaar - 26/08/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I went to a concert. Knowing these concerts usually include a lot of black lights, I decided to wear a black T-shirt so I wouldn't glow. I was having a good time, but about halfway through I noticed someone pointing to my shoulder. I looked down to see my dandruff glowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 482

You deserved it 17 673

Cute but… TMI

By heytherexo - 05/04/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my 3 year-old son came to the bathroom and put on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterwards, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 953

You deserved it 93 459

aaaaa2p 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:02

Your wife sucks.

TheLoneWolf87 4

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:05

We seriously need a Who Gives A Damn About Twilight feature on FML.

Comments

optimus_prime420 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 0:53

Someone should open up a "Rehab For Twilight Obsessed Little Girls." .. They're making me look bad. ):

xiambam 4

Sunday 29 November 2009 0:54

You have my sincerest pities. Your life sucks.

iwillalwaysydi 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:07

YDI for marrying her... (but seriously FYL for having such a retarded wife)

michelleyily 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:13

Your wife is the reason twilight has such a bad name. But honestly no one gives a flip chip. so this isnt an fml

movies12 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:15

I am currently in the theater, siting to watch New Moon for the #2 time. oh and OP, ur wife has a obsession, I like Twilight and whatever but that's just sad.

beachbabie 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:19

seriously fyl! get the divorce papers!!

Ahay 3

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:21

you spelled 'glitter' wrong dumbass

cornsnake 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:39

#80 you just spelled it the same way he spelled it. op get a new wife. anyone who likes twilight has a horrible taste in books and movies. i didn't know that someone would be so stupid that they would put glitter on their husband.

aTRAGEDY 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 1:23

ha ha ur wife wants to bone Edward Cullen ha ha more power to her I personally like the twilight saga but these pre teens and over aged moms need to chill