Miscellaneous: Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring...

By ilovezim29 - 03/06/2012 07:45 - United States - Windsor

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 4 876

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Same thing different taste

Kinda sus

By embarrassed - 03/07/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 344

You deserved it 47 113

Smugglers unite

By atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 932

You deserved it 11 454

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 846

You deserved it 3 592

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 2 995

By yeasty - 06/07/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 066

You deserved it 4 538

By Anonymous - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Poquoson

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 384

You deserved it 4 232

By Anonymous - 02/04/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 525

You deserved it 5 058

Check these out

By doubleds - 03/06/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 529

You deserved it 5 669

It is though

By Timv86 - 16/02/2010 08:18 - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 3 084

By iamnotuseless - 10/12/2010 11:37

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 875

You deserved it 5 118

theamazingone_12 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:43

you obviously have nice boobs

Rommel1942 9

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:42

Hahaha. Gotta love the stupid excuses people make these days

Comments

BrimfullOfAsher 20

Monday 4 June 2012 9:30

Complain to the store manager and corporate HQ. Mention something about lawsuits. Enjoy the free groceries.

TheEpicMilkMan 13

Monday 4 June 2012 10:56

smartest security guard in the world loves his boobies c:

spottyblanket 8

Monday 4 June 2012 11:29

How disgustingly rude. Take down his name and report him, you don't need that

888pickles888 4

Monday 4 June 2012 12:55

Classic

snowfox_fml 10

Monday 4 June 2012 16:27

Safeway the fresh food people

demcatsbro 3

Monday 4 June 2012 17:40

learn how to take a joke, that guard sounds seriously funny. what crawled up your asses and died?

FMLregular123 3

Monday 4 June 2012 18:34

*Ahem* Excuze me mam but we're gonna have to scan and check those items

noisebox 1

Monday 4 June 2012 19:27

You should have said listen mall cop, when you can grow a brain get a real job....

marisadc79 0

Monday 4 June 2012 21:25

I do believe that's grounds for a nice lawsuit

thenightshroud77 9

Tuesday 5 June 2012 2:08

Genius

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The Top

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 755

You deserved it 3 574

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

The Top

Today, I'm moving out of the house. My little sister can't wait and I've never seen my dad so happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 912

You deserved it 4 682

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 678

You deserved it 6 618

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 552

You deserved it 18 536

Today, my boss got mad at me because I told her that I wouldn't be able to work two days out of the week, due to college classes. She then cut back my hours so much that I now only work one day a week. I got the job in the first place to pay for my college classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 288

You deserved it 1 627

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 478

You deserved it 3 908

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 295

You deserved it 38 818