Health, Shopping and Thief: Smugglers unite

Smugglers unite

By atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 932

You deserved it 11 453

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Same thing different taste

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 2 995

By ilovezim29 - 03/06/2012 07:45 - United States - Windsor

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 4 876

By Anonymous - 02/04/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 525

You deserved it 5 058

By Gitana - 22/04/2012 19:08 - Spain - Tafalla

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 890

You deserved it 3 166

By Recon - 17/03/2009 12:16 - Switzerland

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 714

You deserved it 8 416

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 846

You deserved it 3 592

Are you new?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 02:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 746

You deserved it 2 520

By goingtothegym - 09/12/2013 01:16 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 719

You deserved it 6 546

Kinda sus

By embarrassed - 03/07/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 344

You deserved it 47 113

By Anonymous - 04/04/2014 19:02 - Canada - Markham

Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 160

You deserved it 3 686

I_Go_Commando 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:02

If this isn't motivation enough to get your ass in shape, i don't know what is.

xxyumtasticxx 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:03

it's like family guy Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult! Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid.

Comments

Jasper_fml 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:02

dude, that's rad. also, first.

I_Go_Commando 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:02

If this isn't motivation enough to get your ass in shape, i don't know what is.

xxyumtasticxx 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:03

it's like family guy Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult! Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid.

InsanePPG 25

Friday 9 October 2009 20:52

My thoughts exactly.

twilighter_644 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:05

hahaha thats horrible FYL

DaemonDoC 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:10

hahahaha:) not fml imho. just a nice joke xD

mf_fml 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:11

#4, exactly what i thought of too.

ilikerainbows 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:12

FYL for the security guard being an idiot. But also, YDI for being fat.

sarcasticsally 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:15

Yeah, definitely straight out of Family Guy, when the security guard tells Chris he needs the two hams back...

rukusrazor 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:23

it's funny cuz you're fat.

hawtieeex3 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 20:33

ha, family guy muchh ? i guess you is chubbby, sucks for youu! #9- hahaaa.

Keywords

Public freakouts Relatable Health Geek Music Scams Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Cops Transportation Bikes Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Work Art Students Noise Birds Sleep Animals Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 133

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 550

The Top

Today, my family said that we're all in this together, so I headed over to their house before the stay-at-home orders go into effect. When I arrived, my brother came out to stop me in the driveway to say they were practicing social distancing. From me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 799

You deserved it 219

Today, I now need to include in my prerequisites for a potential date, "Must not pull a knife out on one of my guy friends for hugging me." I'm so done with online dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 999

You deserved it 2 387

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 129

You deserved it 3 848

Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in 2 years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 177

Today, while waiting in line at the supermarket, a mother told me to be considerate and not buy the candy I was paying for, because it made her screaming toddler jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 251

You deserved it 239

Today, I was fired from my dream job for being pregnant. Apparently, you can't teach children while growing one inside you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 605

You deserved it 2 443

Smugglers unite

Same thing different taste

J'accuse !

Are you new?

Kinda sus

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