Miscellaneous: Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring...

By ilovezim29 - 03/06/2012 07:45 - United States - Windsor

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 4 876

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Kinda sus

By embarrassed - 03/07/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 344

You deserved it 47 113

Smugglers unite

By atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 932

You deserved it 11 454

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 846

You deserved it 3 592

J'accuse !

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 2 995

By yeasty - 06/07/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 066

You deserved it 4 538

By Anonymous - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Poquoson

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 384

You deserved it 4 232

By Anonymous - 02/04/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 525

You deserved it 5 058

Check these out

By doubleds - 03/06/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 529

You deserved it 5 669

It is though

By Timv86 - 16/02/2010 08:18 - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 3 084

By iamnotuseless - 10/12/2010 11:37

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 875

You deserved it 5 118

theamazingone_12 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:43

you obviously have nice boobs

Rommel1942 9

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:42

Hahaha. Gotta love the stupid excuses people make these days

Comments

rldrship 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 21:03

Me myself I would just tell the truth what's the point in lying

drakej 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 21:25

Thats an awesome excuse

epokryfky 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 21:26

Gotta admit, he can think on the fly!

tsk14 9

Sunday 3 June 2012 21:35

Motorboatt them!!

mwmiller99 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 21:57

Best security guard ever.

afropuffjake 9

Sunday 3 June 2012 22:26

Well if you have nice boobs you're GONNA get special attention, it just comes with the territory *shrug*

livelobster123 14

Sunday 3 June 2012 22:57

Stare at his penis.

Catie_Airlie121 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 23:23

What the hell is Safeway?

tj4234 35

Monday 4 June 2012 2:08

they're a chain of supermarkets. If you're from the UK like I am you probably won't remember them as they were all bought over.

Chad_the_Brony 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 23:44

Although creepy and perverted looking, he's just doing his job. On the bright side, he didn't put his face directly into your cleavage.

raybillionbongen 0

Monday 4 June 2012 0:20

Yay! boobs!

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Money Birthday Cute Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 229

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 131

You deserved it 1 114

The Top

Today, my dad snooped at my payslip and now he keeps calling me a tight cunt who should contribute more. This from the man who smokes 50 a day but hasn’t had full-time employment since 2009. Plus I pay rent, and the gas and electric when he can’t afford to, which is every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 86

Today, while I was singing a song with my guitar at a college open mic, my eyes started to burn, causing me to tear up and stop playing. Everyone in the audience thought I'd actually started to cry mid-performance. I ended up having to leave the stage teary-eyed and embarrassed myself in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 143

Today, I tried to go rollerskating with my kids. I wasn’t even able to fully stand up before I fell and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 122

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 323

You deserved it 2 926

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 514

You deserved it 37 568

Today, I found out that no one actually likes me as a friend. They only like me to get answers for school work. How did I find out? They were talking about it in front of me. Apparently I'm also invisible to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 325

You deserved it 3 734