Health: Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after... - FML

By Fuperman - 02/06/2013 23:14 - France - Illange

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 674

You deserved it 6 728

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Same thing different taste

Not cut out for this

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 02:10

Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 798

You deserved it 1 402

By scardeycat13 - 08/01/2012 05:38 - United States

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 254

You deserved it 10 739

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 20:36 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 093

You deserved it 2 930

By Erica - 08/07/2013 17:27 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 625

You deserved it 72 513

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 55 362

By Alyssa Charlotte - 29/07/2011 02:25 - Mexico

Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 301

You deserved it 3 033

By Emcee - 05/06/2009 10:48 - Philippines

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I was hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 633

You deserved it 6 168

High flying old bird

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 04:00

Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 103

By katiekat - 05/01/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 951

You deserved it 12 652

By poolfail - 06/08/2014 21:14

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 6 541

Next

Top comments

cchan034 23

Monday 3 June 2013 5:25

Good thing it was "assisted"

Eliseopwns 22

Monday 3 June 2013 5:24

Thank god you're not dead.

Comments

jgatsby 6

Monday 3 June 2013 5:58

At least you didn't scream like a little bitch

perdix 29

Monday 3 June 2013 6:02

I guess your solo jump isn't going to happen anytime soon.

Second_to_All 11

Monday 3 June 2013 6:05

I guess its too late to tell you not to look down.

Dame84 6

Monday 3 June 2013 6:05

Just the thought of dangling in wide-open air gives me goosebumps.

Enslaved 36

Monday 3 June 2013 6:19

There shouldn't have been any risk of dying. Because of people like the OP passing out/fainting-- is why there's a bunch of regulations that need to be met before you're allowed to jump solo. The sky driving company needs to make sure their clientele is safe and they don't get shut down. :P

mr_sarcastic416 29

Monday 3 June 2013 6:27

Thank goodness it was assisted, that could have gone really badly

worldclassrager 39

Monday 3 June 2013 6:40

Looks like skydiving is not your sport...but at least you made it out alive right?

Jelbeztok 17

Monday 3 June 2013 6:48

im glad you tried assisted first, couldve been a lot worse..

CharresBarkrey 15

Monday 3 June 2013 7:15

Everyone has to go assisted for their first few times. You have to be certified to do a solo jump

Jelbeztok 17

Monday 3 June 2013 8:16

ive never been skydiving nor do i know anyone who has, so i did not know that.

blackplatter 4

Monday 3 June 2013 7:05

Beats fainting on an unassisted dive any day!

Epikouros 31

Monday 3 June 2013 7:06

I hope someone took pictures!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 76

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

The Top

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 60

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 202

You deserved it 2 592

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 784

You deserved it 1 769

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I agree, your life sucks 32 562

You deserved it 8 767

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 502

You deserved it 3 220

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 919

You deserved it 2 421