Intimacy: Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend,...

By Mr. Sensitive Nips - 17/03/2011 22:38 - United States

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 575

You deserved it 9 400

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 967

By Anonymous - 23/07/2010 00:39 - United Kingdom

I agree, your life sucks 40 858

You deserved it 16 875

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 2 085

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 018

You deserved it 5 989

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 632

You deserved it 31 344

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 913

You deserved it 10 182

Throbbing

By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 967

You deserved it 1 169

Noob to boobs

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 216

You deserved it 43 807

Vaporeon?

By me. - 07/05/2012 20:38 - Canada - Orillia

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 275

You deserved it 12 163

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 320

You deserved it 68 677

holymolybro 0

Friday 18 March 2011 0:04

"Sweety...can we..um..go in this alley for a sec.."

chlorinegreen 27

Friday 18 March 2011 0:04

tell her to stand in front of you?

Comments

guitarspro 0

Monday 28 March 2011 2:41

that's why I put my nipples on a strict bow-flex routine. they would never get out if line like that.

joy_nash 7

Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:36

Well...at least now you know what to ask for in bed next time!

zURideN 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 2:01

hmm (;

phatmatt1 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 4:04

hey

jamminjylie76 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 1:57

grrrrrrrrrrr Big Bioy Shevought to be oroud

Daydreamer4466 6

Friday 17 June 2011 14:54

wow that suck.

CaliSwaggGirl 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 11:11

have her help you out in a bathroom

KaiDisguise 6

Wednesday 27 July 2011 2:16

Look on the bright side, she now knows what REALLY turns you on. Next time, wear the green.

briissocoollike 8

Saturday 17 September 2011 19:07

U shoulda embraced the hardness.

babyjp2013 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:08

Nice one ;o haha :P

Pewdiepiebro 4

Sunday 17 June 2012 20:33

Happened to me many times!Except the nipple pinching.

Keywords

Awkward Work Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Camping Food Fish Health Holidays Vegan Ableism Love Gamers Geek Video games Parents Relatable Painful Tattoos Annoying Mental health Customers Bikes Motorbike Accident Transportation Art Money Concert Family

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 284

You deserved it 14 946

Today, I tried making homemade bread, just for fun. My girlfriend started yelling that we had perfectly good bread from the store, "but noooo, my boyfriend just HAS to make his own bread!" She ended up ruining the experience, so I just threw the dough in the garbage and went to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 164

The Top

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 971

You deserved it 2 677

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 076

You deserved it 12 594

Today, I was just released from hospital after a heart attack. As a 37 year-old woman with healthy habits and no family history of heart issues, the doctors have no idea why it happened. So instead of telling me how to change my lifestyle, they told me to proceed as usual, and hope that it doesn't happen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 90

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 149

You deserved it 53 573

Today, I had to go to court to see whether my driver's license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 286

You deserved it 31 547

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't have a license, backed up my car in a Taco Bell parking lot. Someone else was also backing up and smashed right into my car. If they ask to see the camera footage, they're going to see he was driving and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 1 939