Miscellaneous: Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door,... - FML

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 387

You deserved it 7 513

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By JulieKid - 04/05/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 526

You deserved it 7 800

The Brian Harvey

By Yougotmail - 17/07/2022 06:00

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 619

Never flip flop and drive

By Alyce - 09/10/2020 08:10 - United States - Lewistown

Today, I was supposed to deliver my S/O's keys to the garage, where he got his car fixed after a minor accident. I pulled out of my alley, only to have my flip flop catch on my accelerator, causing me to hit another car passing by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 1 521

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 427

You deserved it 2 980

Karma?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 17:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the day after I bragged about never having a car accident in my life, I mistakenly put my car into Drive instead of Reverse and crashed into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 503

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 08:58 - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 077

You deserved it 6 033

By chevysprint - 28/02/2010 05:36 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 413

You deserved it 33 385

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 414

You deserved it 26 398

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 14:00

Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 371

By a non e mouse - 10/11/2015 22:34 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 945

You deserved it 8 162

Next

Top comments

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:03

That's a good trick. Really. That's like tripping over your feet and landing on your boss's exposed penis.

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:22

Maybe I should consider using that as an excuse more often. "I'm sorry, I fell on your wallet in such a way that it landed in my pocket."

Comments

iheartpink 0

Friday 18 September 2009 4:04

what the hell is wrong with people now????wow your a ******* retard how the hell does that happen??!!!FYL

Mata_Hari 0

Friday 18 September 2009 4:11

Not only how close is your car to your porch, but how could you do that really? I mean, I can't imagine how you fell in such a way that you keyed it? Was your arm outstretched? Sorry if this is a stupid comment, I've never keyed a car before so I wouldn't get the exact art/dynamics/whatever.

jhommie9696 0

Friday 18 September 2009 4:23

and he shal be called CAPTAIN FAIL BUCKET!!! Bucket... bucket...

greent_fml 0

Friday 18 September 2009 8:33

YDI for driving a car.

uhoh1717 1

Friday 18 September 2009 12:11

YDI Vandal jk that sucks

ladiesman14 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 6:45

good thing you werent chewing gum too. you would have choked and died.

caperi 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 6:49

Clearly he didn't know it was his; he's not being ungrateful if nobody has given or shown the intention of giving him something. My guess is that he assumed the car was parjed there by a random stranger seeing as he's never seen it before. then he called it a "piece of shit" because it has no business sitting on their driveway.

kaylapple 1

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:42

you must be clumsy!

keebler123 2

Friday 5 August 2011 19:26

fake

byron17 26

Saturday 12 January 2013 21:39

how the hell does she deserve it for driving a car????? That sucks dude...

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The Top

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

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Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 906

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 202

You deserved it 4 470

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I agree, your life sucks 44 200

You deserved it 3 374

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 884

Nothing to see here! Don't mind me!

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 84

Today, my doctor's office called to reschedule. I hate sacrificing work time at all, but I have to have my contraceptive. The appointment had been set back once already due to insurance issues, and having to wait until November means I'm going to run out… so now I sound like a drug addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 186

Today, I found my concert tickets that I've been trying to find for the last 2 weeks in my mom's closet. When I asked why she had them, she said she felt the concert was inappropriate for me so she hid them. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 294

You deserved it 6 641