Transportation, Cars, Accident, Clumsy and Keys: Butter fingers - FML

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 14:00

Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 371

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Same thing different taste

By waterlogged - 22/09/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, my entire region received record rainfall, with torrential downpours all day and night. Today was also the day I discovered my car's sunroof leaks, when I was greeted with two inches of standing water in my floorboards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 945

You deserved it 2 601

Trashed

By rainey - 03/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 407

You deserved it 2 584

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 387

You deserved it 7 513

By Anonymous - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 935

You deserved it 11 408

Stop! Thief!

By kellthryn - 17/03/2020 23:00

Today, during my work shift, my car got stolen and I had to walk home on the rain. While I was walking home, my stolen car drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 219

By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 333

You deserved it 255 579

By Qwe - 20/03/2016 01:22 - United States - North Attleboro

Today, I dropped my wallet and it fell into the perfectly sized hole in the storm drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 621

You deserved it 1 586

Cars and cards

By Anonymous - 30/04/2021 18:30 - United States - Johnstown

Today, I took my car through the automated wash. I was too close to swipe my card, so the attendant reached for it and somewhere between our hands, the card fell into the grate and down a small crack 10ft into nasty water. The whole car wash was shut down to pull the massive grate up. It took about 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 156

Soaking

By Anonymous - 04/06/2013 16:05 - United States

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 163

You deserved it 4 041

What's your damage?

By Anonymous - 22/07/2020 02:02

Today, I put my car in the garage last night so it wouldn't get damaged by a huge thunderstorm. Golf clubs fell on it while it was stowed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 338

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Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 October 2022 17:07

Congrats on the new statue that you had placed in front of your home.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 October 2022 17:07

Congrats on the new statue that you had placed in front of your home.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 61

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 66

The Top

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 768

You deserved it 13 345

Today, my (ex)girlfriend broke up with me because she read the horoscope and it stated that people of the Aquarius sign are toxic and emotionally volatile. I am Aquarius and did nothing wrong to my friends or family as far as I can recall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 76

Today, ten years after getting my college girlfriend pregnant and leaving because I wasn't ready, I reached out to her and told her I'm ready to be a father. Apparently my son "already has a father in his life" and "doesn't need me." She laughed at me when I threatened to sue for custody, and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 2 821

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 172

You deserved it 4 381

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 720

You deserved it 3 874

Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 521

You deserved it 11 825