Miscellaneous: Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly...

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 782

You deserved it 9 252

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Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 456

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 316

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 739

You deserved it 30 880

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 481

You deserved it 3 176

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 453

You deserved it 46 707

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 294

You deserved it 32 185

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 880

You deserved it 70 616

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 1 306

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 014

You deserved it 5 946

By spideypowers - 05/09/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 460

You deserved it 44 398

MeTheBeast 22

Monday 24 August 2015 22:41

Well at least you got the spider! Right?

uglytwin 15

Monday 24 August 2015 22:41

You've got a good arm! Try out for baseball.

Comments

chocolatelover96 14

Monday 24 August 2015 22:49

A completely normal reaction, OP. I was sitting on my bed, sipping a coffee one day, just watching YouTube videos, when I noticed a large spider crawling up my arm. Coffee and the laptop both got thrown as I made my panicked escape.

marcranger 28

Monday 24 August 2015 22:52

I don't know, OP, your reaction seems a bit, oh, what's the word...restrained to me. I probably would've thrown the book out the window, jumped out the window myself, and only come back once I possessed a locked and loaded flamethrower.

sadistmonkey 19

Monday 24 August 2015 22:54

At least you were calm and rational.

oathkeeper99 31

Monday 24 August 2015 22:58

Oh god, just imagining this made me shudder... I hate spiders so much.

PsychicBulwark 4

Monday 24 August 2015 23:01

UK doesn't even have dangerous spiders.

dirty_dan_ 15

Monday 24 August 2015 23:02

That sounds like something my best friend would do

TheNewGuy03 28

Monday 24 August 2015 23:10

Definitely calm and totally normal

zyero 9

Monday 24 August 2015 23:13

Ironically spiders don't **** with me like that, my father hates them. Now if it was a roach that would be a different story, something about an insect that doesn't die when you step on it creeps me the **** out. It's like a scorpion, step on the little ****** and they bounce back like a damn squeaky toy

Calingaladha 21

Tuesday 25 August 2015 0:58

But spiders and scorpions are both arachnids :P

pete9913 23

Monday 24 August 2015 23:15

I would mark YDI, but I'm terrified of spiders too. I'd have done the same thing. FYL OP

Isamermaid 17

Monday 24 August 2015 23:22

Once I saw a leg come around my pillow. I thought it was a spider. Sat up, turned on the light. It was actually a 5-inch long centipede. I'm not even worried about spiders anymore.

TheNewGuy03 28

Monday 24 August 2015 23:34

Christ on a skateboard.

marcranger 28

Tuesday 25 August 2015 5:36

I apologize if the price of coffee goes up on a global scale. It'll be because I bought all of the existing supply, having decided that I am never going to sleep again.

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 25 August 2015 9:08

I'm gonna add this: consider yourself lucky. If it's part of the Scolopendra genus, it is most likely very venomous, so it's a very good thing you noticed it before it did what it was going to do...