Miscellaneous: Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly...

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 782

You deserved it 9 252

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Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 456

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 316

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 739

You deserved it 30 880

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 481

You deserved it 3 176

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 453

You deserved it 46 707

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 294

You deserved it 32 185

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 880

You deserved it 70 616

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 1 306

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 014

You deserved it 5 946

By spideypowers - 05/09/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 460

You deserved it 44 398

MeTheBeast 22

Monday 24 August 2015 22:41

Well at least you got the spider! Right?

uglytwin 15

Monday 24 August 2015 22:41

You've got a good arm! Try out for baseball.

Comments

Ruskiy_Cherep 18

Tuesday 25 August 2015 5:51

Who needs TV when u have a good book to read anyways?

Brokeandsad 8

Tuesday 25 August 2015 6:04

Why?...just WHY? ?

ObeyTheWaves 11

Tuesday 25 August 2015 6:51

then you burned both, right?

fohfuu 9

Tuesday 25 August 2015 7:01

YDI. It's a spider, not radioactive waste

protoskore 27

Tuesday 25 August 2015 7:49

Reading this, I had to fight the urge to throw a book at my tv, to see if it'd break.

NonoMeow 18

Tuesday 25 August 2015 9:41

I would have done the same.

bluefairy_fml 24

Tuesday 25 August 2015 10:39

So you got rid of the spider AND of the useless, brainwashing TV. I'd call it a win.

Herrera239 8

Tuesday 25 August 2015 11:08

What's better a broken TV or a burnt down house?

Reality_bites 14

Tuesday 25 August 2015 11:35

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, Eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, which sat down besides her, Thank goodness for Mortein Flyspray!