Miscellaneous: Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly...

By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 782

You deserved it 9 252

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 456

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 316

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 739

You deserved it 30 880

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 481

You deserved it 3 176

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 453

You deserved it 46 707

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 294

You deserved it 32 185

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 880

You deserved it 70 616

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 1 306

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 014

You deserved it 5 946

By spideypowers - 05/09/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 460

You deserved it 44 398

MeTheBeast 22

Monday 24 August 2015 22:41

Well at least you got the spider! Right?

uglytwin 15

Monday 24 August 2015 22:41

You've got a good arm! Try out for baseball.

Comments

Pinto_2015 9

Monday 24 August 2015 23:32

Alsoong came a spider...sat down beside her aaaannnnndddd went through the TV...

LyricaSilvan 29

Monday 24 August 2015 23:34

Personally I would have just dropped it...

NellieeNell 18

Monday 24 August 2015 23:42

I would have done the same thing OP.

WOTAN1488 24

Monday 24 August 2015 23:42

"Calmly and rationally" sounds more like frantically and illogically.

plan_Z 14

Tuesday 25 August 2015 0:04

Being afraid of spiders myself, that was calm and rational. I would have thrown myself out the window in terror.

olpally 32

Tuesday 25 August 2015 0:11

LMFAO!!!! That's hysterical! Lol. Jesus!

migmit 11

Tuesday 25 August 2015 0:15

Why didn't you just threw the spider out of the window? Random act of cruelty?

CupOfCoffee 14

Tuesday 25 August 2015 0:36

FYL. I woke up next to a spider next to my pillow this morning... I was suprised and not in a good way.

AkBunny907 18

Tuesday 25 August 2015 0:51

That's awsome my own reaction would certainly mirror that

Calingaladha 21

Tuesday 25 August 2015 0:57

As my grandfather liked to recite: Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, Eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, which sat down besides her, And scared the hell out of her.

Reality_bites 14

Tuesday 25 August 2015 11:32

I like this one: Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, Eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, which sat down besides her, Thank goodness for mortein flyspray.