Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet.... - FML

By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 331

You deserved it 71 440

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Same thing different taste

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 980

You deserved it 10 472

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 343

You deserved it 733

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Spicy

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 735

You deserved it 4 409

Nailed it

By anon - 21/12/2013 14:13 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 117

You deserved it 12 901

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 838

You deserved it 18 696

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 533

You deserved it 19 393

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 6 264

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 3 495

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 7 586

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 456

You deserved it 6 820

Next

Top comments

porcelainkisses 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

I laughed so hard when I read this. YDI.

coballan55 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

is she hot?

Comments

Whydoyouask 11

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:47

LMFAO!!! this is hilarious! XD loved the way you worded it OP! Im sorry to the people who dont get it and also dont appreciate thed fact that the OP just put himself out there for our shameless entertainment :P

Michaelkg 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:49

why are so many people "disappoint"? I'm just disappointed.

Alexxcunningham 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:34

#58 troll this newfag above you

MLuckyCapoeirist 6

Wednesday 2 February 2011 18:42

Teh internetz r srs biznis

Zebidee 8

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:02

know your meme

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:51

Did your mum put googly eyes on it for you?

auzzrage 1

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:54

haha read that FML to :)

CleanseTheKraken 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:56

I'm, in all honesty, waiting for a therapist to comment on this.

underguarded 20

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:02

You must change girl friends often...

ininjaism 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:19

did she split or swallow.?? lmao

johnsmith 2

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:21

freakin hilarious dude love it

PeteyPablo12308 20

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:31

Oh dear. FYL OP

Enderspeaker 2

Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:14

Reminds me of Towlie. Dried up **** rag!

glitchedgamer 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:18

Ffs people, this is fake.

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Keywords

Love Video games Gamers Health Gross Weird First Dates Smells Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 229

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 363

You deserved it 3 725

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 906

You deserved it 7 324

Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 1 263

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 925

You deserved it 3 363

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 143

You deserved it 1 806

Today, my dad went to the doctor to find out if he is autistic. When we walked in, the doctor asked why he wasn't testing if he was diabetic, effectively calling my dad fat. My dad was deeply offended, so I gave that jackass doctor an earful. But as it turns out, he was correct. My dad does have diabetes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 361