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I'll never understand when women just "never want" sex. either he's doing something extremely wrong, or she's getting it from somewhere else. sex is a natural desire, no matter the gender.

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Some people are asexual and genuinely aren't interested in sex, 51. That being said, they're probably not the majority of the people with issues of sexual compatibility in marriage.

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Sexual desire is an odd thing, for instance if I can't find a person I have a specific connection with, I'm perfectly fine by myself. Maybe the wife is like that too and has just lost that feeling of connection. Or maybe he's become like a brother to her and it feels icky? Could be many things.

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A lot of women have problems with low to nonexistent sex drives. This, in turn, can cause issues such as vaginal dryness or pain during sex. I think the way she spoke to him may have been uncalled for, though.

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  leogachi

@59 You make it sound like sex is the only reason to get married. Since sex outside of marriage is no longer taboo, what's the point in anyone getting married?

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#76. What you describe is the ideal scenario, but is not the reality. I think that the wife was rude, there's no excuse. But, it seems both of them are bored. That doesn't mean they don't love each other.

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No, I've been married for a year, but I know the joy that my mother and father, and my mother's parents experienced. My mom and dad were married for 36 years until my mom passed away... and my grandparents were married for 58 until my grandfather passed away. They never complained about being bored. I see what you're saying, though. Chemistry is mandatory, and if there's resentment, the marriage will probably eventually fail.

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If I was a girl, and my husband threw a kitchen utensil at me and told me to have fun with it, yeah, I would tell him the same. If he attempted to communicate his problems effectively (like erectile dysfunction), then no. Communication is key. OP's wife didn't even try.

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I doubt that would work. If there were times when she was in a more amenable mood, it probably wouldn't be a sexless marriage. Been there, done that. FYL, OP.

I don't normally suggest this, but maybe it is time to reevaluate your relationship. The sexless part is one thing, but her reaction to just having a discussion about it is just horrible.

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Regardless if she is PMSing or not, it doesn't give her the right to speak to her husband like that. We really need to stop using a woman's period as an excuse to act like a total douche knocker.

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A couple of years ago I would have totally agreed with you. But after my pregnancies my PMS got so bad that even though I really did my best to control my moods my hubby could tell immediately when I was about to menstruate. Thankfully the symptoms gradually subsided after about a year each time. Now I'm not so quick to dismiss PMS for such behavior anymore.

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#96, we're not dismissing PMS as the cause. We're dismissing PMS as an excuse. Each person is responsible for their own behavior, regardless of the cause. Every behavior has a cause. Does that make it ok to go around acting like an ass?

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