Animals: Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's...

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 14:53 - United States - Middleton

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 918

You deserved it 3 362

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Same thing different taste

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 271

You deserved it 9 701

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 1 231

Dogs rule

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 335

Bad boy

By Dammit - 31/05/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 732

You deserved it 2 794

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 837

You deserved it 5 946

By Anonymous - 12/08/2015 17:50 - United States

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 903

You deserved it 2 508

Doggy dog world

By Maude - 20/11/2020 05:03 - Canada - Beauharnois

Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 504

You deserved it 4 195

By an unlucky man - 05/08/2016 09:37 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 986

You deserved it 3 098

iAlissa 34

Monday 9 February 2015 23:24

It saddens me that actual loyalty seems so hard to come by now.

Welshite 39

Monday 9 February 2015 23:24

Your wife is in the doghouse now.

Comments

jerome72 14

Tuesday 10 February 2015 2:34

tbh i probably would have shot the thing

PresAgent 23

Tuesday 10 February 2015 3:53

Agreed, #40. As a hunter, I have no qualms shooting a vicious animal that attacks me. Inside your own home is even more reason to do so.

vikky538 28

Tuesday 10 February 2015 2:54

you made me realize that I have less problems...

Morning_fml 22

Tuesday 10 February 2015 3:34

Her lover's dog was more loyal than she is.

buymevickis92 26

Tuesday 10 February 2015 4:32

who brings their dog with them to.have an affair?

AnFrickenTwan 19

Tuesday 10 February 2015 4:39

I wish you the best OP

ljrdz 7

Tuesday 10 February 2015 4:39

wtf?

kickyourtitsin 12

Tuesday 10 February 2015 4:54

The fact that this happened in Wisconsin, and that I'm a Wisconsinite pains me to hear of such an asshole.

gintwinsmoore 20

Tuesday 10 February 2015 10:42

Oh come on now...there's plenty of Assholes living in Wisconsin that do that so don't be too shocked!!!!

gobiteme2 34

Tuesday 10 February 2015 4:54

Sounds like the time to call an exterminator. Get rid of the skunk and ***** in the house OP.

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Tuesday 10 February 2015 5:19

That was your sign. Don't ever go back.

redstone7693 29

Tuesday 10 February 2015 5:32

shit I accidentally pressed the thumbs down button man sorry. but yeah I agree. sorry for your loss op.

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The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 207

You deserved it 3 632

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 308

You deserved it 3 970

The Top

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 477

You deserved it 2 720

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 230

You deserved it 18 038

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 655

You deserved it 3 062

Today, I was at orientation for my new job. There were only 6 other people in the training. Throughout the whole entire training, I kept smelling cat piss and moved further away from the other person, only to later get in my car and realize my cat had peed in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 706

You deserved it 2 397

Today, I recently got out of hospital after suffering a bad head injury. My doctor warned me I might have localised skin numbness, and it turns out I do. In my penis. Can’t feel a thing down there. We discovered this in bed, where nothing could get a rise out of me because it was completely dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 167

Today, I miscarried my baby. My teen sister, who has autism and can’t handle being around children, congratulated me on getting my freedom back, and also on miscarrying before I got fat like our mom. I can’t even yell at her because she wouldn’t understand why I’m upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 125