Animals: Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 14:53 - United States - Middleton

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 918

You deserved it 3 362

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Same thing different taste

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 271

You deserved it 9 701

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 1 231

Dogs rule

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 335

Bad boy

By Dammit - 31/05/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 732

You deserved it 2 794

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 837

You deserved it 5 946

By Anonymous - 12/08/2015 17:50 - United States

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 903

You deserved it 2 508

Doggy dog world

By Maude - 20/11/2020 05:03 - Canada - Beauharnois

Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 504

You deserved it 4 195

By an unlucky man - 05/08/2016 09:37 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 986

You deserved it 3 098

Next

Top comments

iAlissa 34

Monday 9 February 2015 23:24

It saddens me that actual loyalty seems so hard to come by now.

Welshite 39

Monday 9 February 2015 23:24

Your wife is in the doghouse now.

Comments

the_steven 6

Friday 13 February 2015 7:43

a strong stance and a menacing glare will stop most dogs; a strong kick to the neck or underside of the jaw will stop the rest, except for trained attack dogs...

UpUpUpUrs 6

Saturday 14 February 2015 14:45

At least the dog is more loyal the Bitch. Do you think he would let me borrow it?

PunkPrincess_fml 11

Monday 21 September 2015 4:46

Good tactic for anyone cheating to have a gaurddog on standby.

fantasyworld 37

Monday 23 November 2015 23:24

Who brings the dog over to his mistress's house?

PuckYouToTheFace 24

Monday 29 February 2016 2:52

Get a gun, it'll solve both problems.

HeisenburgLabs 15

Saturday 26 March 2016 9:33

I would have gotten a gun and shot that stupid mutt, then shot the dogs owner. How dare that man come into YOUR house and chase you off while he's with YOUR wife! He's not not a man he's the scum of the earth and he deserves to crushed like the cockroach he is!

tigeresscrazy 12

Sunday 18 September 2016 8:06

I feel bad for you it wasn't bad enough your wife was cheating but to add insult to injury her lovers dog kick you out of your house hope the dog only chased you

lucasjames22 8

Saturday 8 July 2017 20:12

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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The Top

Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of protein and to fill my fridge with vegetables. I can barely afford to make balanced meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 133

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 61

The Top

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 957

You deserved it 3 360

Today, it's the 10th anniversary of the last time I had sex, and that was a drunk pity shag down an alley that lasted less than 30 seconds, due to me getting my period and his whiskey dick. Since then, all my sexual encounters have included the internet and rechargeable batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 342

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 458

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 113

You deserved it 50 227

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 953

You deserved it 4 198

Today, while I was stuck in traffic, I got a nasty call from my boss, demanding to know why I hadn't set up a demo site for a client. I'd never gotten the request, and even if I had, I couldn't do it because I was in traffic. The exchange humiliated him on a conference call with the client, so he wrote me up out of spite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 82