Intimacy: Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this...

By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 666

You deserved it 11 924

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Same thing different taste

By dlova - 27/01/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 205

You deserved it 24 718

By Owned - 29/01/2009 00:32 - Taiwan

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 926

You deserved it 28 344

By Bliss - 09/02/2009 18:24 - United States

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 5 904

By plasticfantastic - 25/04/2009 12:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 713

You deserved it 9 620

Late bloomer

By Forever Lonely - 13/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Centurion

Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 237

By Idontdance - 23/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 179

You deserved it 4 480

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 064

You deserved it 49 534

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 4 790

By kklaucen14 - 06/08/2012 01:15 - United States - Connersville

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 3 264

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 923

You deserved it 38 531

mcbitch 0

Friday 6 March 2009 20:04

according to the transitive property, you just gave your friend a *******.

Zuriel45 0

Friday 6 March 2009 20:11

Sounds like you and your friend just got a lot closer.

Comments

Vagabones 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 0:07

Ha. Nice one, #1. Just hope he didn't finish in her mouth.

musicislife_fml 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 0:11

HAHAHA. #1. nice. But dude... that sucks.

npk88 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 0:27

hahahhahahahah that's what you get for making out with a ****.

Heatstreak 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 1:04

lmao what #1 said haha

Supermikee 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 1:15

Happens to everyone!

chadr26 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 2:10

It happens but I'd be washing out my mouth If I were you though.

hmm321 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 2:46

LMFAO

rathalosrocker 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 3:04

eww, u just kissed ****

Failercoptor 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 3:27

#27 well he probably made this account to state his FML, apparently that name was pertinent to his situation.

k4a2t0 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 4:28

ya i wen t on like a sexcapade and sorta something similar happened hahhh

Keywords

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Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 761

You deserved it 15 563

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I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 915

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12 466

You deserved it 25 604

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I agree, your life sucks 5 183

You deserved it 327

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I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 207

Today, despite hints, suggestions, and even blatant criticism, my coworker refuses to believe he smells like rotten donkey nuts. He says he only needs to shower once a week, and that he doesn't believe in deodorant. I volunteered to do an extra autopsy today because the morgue smells better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 1 330

Today, I was trying to impress a very cute guy at a party by grinding up against him. During my very sexy choreography, I heard him say, “It feels like a slug rubbing against me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 297

Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 187

You deserved it 2 716

Same thing different taste

Late bloomer

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