Intimacy: Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this...

By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 666

You deserved it 11 924

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Same thing different taste

By dlova - 27/01/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 205

You deserved it 24 718

By Owned - 29/01/2009 00:32 - Taiwan

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 926

You deserved it 28 344

By Bliss - 09/02/2009 18:24 - United States

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 5 904

By plasticfantastic - 25/04/2009 12:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 713

You deserved it 9 620

Late bloomer

By Forever Lonely - 13/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Centurion

Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 237

By Idontdance - 23/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 179

You deserved it 4 480

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 064

You deserved it 49 534

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 4 790

By kklaucen14 - 06/08/2012 01:15 - United States - Connersville

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 3 264

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 923

You deserved it 38 531

mcbitch 0

Friday 6 March 2009 20:04

according to the transitive property, you just gave your friend a *******.

Zuriel45 0

Friday 6 March 2009 20:11

Sounds like you and your friend just got a lot closer.

Comments

Tdotgirl 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 8:26

****!!!! Her not you. Or maybe good threesome material? Glass half full or half empty?

shree 0

Monday 6 April 2009 3:57

This happened to a guy I know when we were in high school. People called him Dick Mouth for 3 years.

brkn_hearted 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 6:15

ewwwwwwww i hope he was kidding, if not i know i'd probably puke for a few hours and drink as much liquor as i could to rid my mouth of the "germs"

fuckkkkk_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 1:36

SNOWBALLED

pwolo1025 0

Friday 29 May 2009 2:12

second hand ******* lol

robodoll 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 19:49

I sure hope he was joking LOL!

whodatninja 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:23

You shouldve asked her for one

youdontsay 0

Friday 5 June 2009 22:24

Hahaha nasty!

HunterFalls13 0

Friday 19 June 2009 0:19

Hahha ew

aquarius6 0

Friday 19 June 2009 13:32

What a ho. So her kiss was sticky and tasted like milk and clorox?

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Money Birthday Cute Weird Awkward Health Love Abuse Relatable Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

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Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 70

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, I realized there is nothing quite like having your mother be too hungover to open presents on Christmas morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 223

You deserved it 2 859

Today, the massive snowstorm that has been mercilessly attacking my city for the past week started causing random, brief blackouts every 2-5 minutes. I'm very sick, so the last thing I need is for this house to be cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 137

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 639

You deserved it 4 607

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 755

You deserved it 269

Today, I got kicked out of an Uber for "smelling bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 730

Today, I went in for a full hysterectomy due to medical issues. I came out being 6 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 157

Same thing different taste

Late bloomer

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