Intimacy: Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen,...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 317

You deserved it 4 000

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Same thing different taste

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 390

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 771

You deserved it 7 588

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 115

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 089

You deserved it 550

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 898

You deserved it 7 067

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 041

You deserved it 35 381

By Eminnis - 31/08/2015 03:27 - United States - Woodland Park

Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 316

You deserved it 1 690

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 14:33 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 4 576

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 756

You deserved it 3 341

Kitchen Nightmare

By Pinsky - 30/07/2021 23:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 138

Joswah 0

Monday 20 September 2010 18:59

Gross. Just gross.

robbilee 14

Monday 20 September 2010 18:59

a new ingredient to a recipe. yum

Comments

zackd23 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:05

i like b%bs

Schizomaniac 24

Monday 20 September 2010 19:36

You stop saying that.

Schizomaniac 24

Monday 20 September 2010 20:00

Hey, that worked.

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Tuesday 21 September 2010 0:29

Combo breaker?! I know this had been silent for a while, but I couldn't take the chance.

boopityboppity 11

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:12

They'd already stopped saying that.

boopityboppity 11

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:29

Which means that worked.

zp5 4

Tuesday 21 September 2010 4:39

everyone stopped replying

zp5 4

Tuesday 21 September 2010 5:03

which means it worked

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Tuesday 21 September 2010 22:05

Stop trying to mend the broken combo!

SAMHAlN 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:06

isn't it nob if you're not talking about a door knob?

WiseGuy79 14

Monday 20 September 2010 19:08

I'm betting you skipped dinner that night lol

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Monday 20 September 2010 19:08

anyone in the mood for steak with a side of masturbation?

RachelHellYeah 0

Monday 20 September 2010 23:21

that wasn't funny

stronghand0331 17

Monday 20 September 2010 23:49

yes it was

sammehsaurus 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 1:57

It really wasn't. Haha

c420racer 13

Monday 20 September 2010 19:18

Guess you don't need to add salt to your food lol

christian50 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 1:09

haha great response!

GrEaT_BaMbInO 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:18

(just wait and see what I do to your dinner.) lol

ngyh 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:18

I was trying to picture the whole thing..... but, nah.... rather not!

7basher7 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:20

disgusting

perdix 29

Monday 20 September 2010 19:20

So when your bangers and mash tastes funny, you'll know why.

shaannonwilding 0

Monday 20 September 2010 19:22

ha! this made my day :)

honestlyWTF 1

Monday 20 September 2010 19:21

I'm pretty intimidated, but I have my hot dog to keep me happy.

FFML_314 11

Monday 20 September 2010 19:27

DUDE ME TOO! We are like soulmates!

Schizomaniac 24

Monday 20 September 2010 19:37

I'm telling Precious.

ohthebloodygore 16

Tuesday 21 September 2010 1:39

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 265

You deserved it 14 937

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 360

You deserved it 61 103

The Top

Today, in the entire half-hour since my mother-in-law reached our home, she's inspected and criticised every aspect of our home, despite things being spot clean. And sermoned me non stop on how to "live". My husband still wonders why I don't want her visiting. It"s going to be a long two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 101

Today, as a waiter, I was bringing drinks to a table that included a 3-month-old baby. I accidentally spilled a beer on the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 953

You deserved it 1 074

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of, "how hard he gave it to me last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 632

You deserved it 10 125

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 113

You deserved it 3 086

Today, I said that I'm not okay with my body. I'm not extremely obese, just gained some pounds, but it bugs me. My wife told me to search opportunities instead of excuses, and go to the f*ing gym. I'm still recovering after a serious accident and surgery, and I can't walk yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 102

Today, I found out that my sister will be moving out of my house and in with her alcoholic, drug addicted boyfriend. I only got the house we live in so she would have her own space. And she agreed to pay a third of the rent, which is $500 more than the place I lived in before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 662

You deserved it 486

Same thing different taste

Classic Dave

Eye bleach

Knock first

Quick thinking

Kitchen Nightmare

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