Intimacy: Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen,... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 319

You deserved it 4 001

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 391

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 772

You deserved it 7 588

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 115

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 093

You deserved it 551

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Spicy

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 899

You deserved it 7 067

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 042

You deserved it 35 384

By Eminnis - 31/08/2015 03:27 - United States - Woodland Park

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 316

You deserved it 1 690

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 14:33 - United States - Canyon Country

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 4 576

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 756

You deserved it 3 341

Kitchen Nightmare

By Pinsky - 30/07/2021 23:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 138

Next

Top comments

Joswah 0

Monday 20 September 2010 18:59

Gross. Just gross.

robbilee 14

Monday 20 September 2010 18:59

a new ingredient to a recipe. yum

Comments

triggerit 5

Monday 20 September 2010 20:58

he just burnt his fingers and tried to cool them...

cadeau_fml 0

Monday 20 September 2010 20:59

hecka nasty

Jessi2487 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 7:54

how did i kno u were from sacramento before looking at ur profile? its something about sacramento and that word "hecka" that i hate so much. tell all of sacramento county, that word is dead. demised. over..... jus sayin

puddingface17 0

Monday 20 September 2010 21:02

dont eat whatever he made you!

ANTLink19 4

Monday 20 September 2010 21:07

First course, crab salad

misxmarshmellow 0

Monday 20 September 2010 21:22

eww >_<

Emilyluvsyou 0

Monday 20 September 2010 21:26

cream of daddy soup....so good.... lol naaaaaasty. can you say going out for dinner?

devildog420x 0

Monday 20 September 2010 23:07

not even funny to joke about

DaveEl 0

Tuesday 21 September 2010 2:13

I'm sorry it's pretty jokes tho, I'm with Emily on that one lmao

Niki27x 2

Monday 20 September 2010 21:30

don't eat the mayo haahaha, and were from the uk, were polite... you knob (: x

Oxycodone 0

Monday 20 September 2010 21:47

hahahahahahahahah.

prov401 0

Monday 20 September 2010 22:02

I like to roll play as a tea kettle.

bluekiwi_fml 0

Monday 20 September 2010 22:06

ewww I saw mine doing the same except holding the clicker... :( (gags)

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Cops Neighbours Stressed out Scary Health Parents Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work First Dates LGBTQIA+ Love My ex Facebook Social Media Sex Intimacy Virginity School Painful Dating Tinder Awkward AITA Coworkers Jealousy Skincare

The Top

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 580

You deserved it 66 655

Today, I found out that my parents have been lying about my birthday. Now it makes sense how they "lost the birth certificate" or how many photos of me as a baby are dated before I was actually supposed to be born, because "the camera must've glitched, we must've confused the date we wrote in the back of that card." FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 58

The Top

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 015

You deserved it 4 765

Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 125

You deserved it 2 798

Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 618

You deserved it 70 862

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 327

You deserved it 639

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 612

You deserved it 6 845

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 111

You deserved it 5 243