Love: Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in...

By shiftybizniss - 16/04/2009 18:43 - Canada

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 185

You deserved it 69 373

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Same thing different taste

By Kaz - 07/05/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 582

You deserved it 50 268

By notonthepavement - 15/02/2016 11:04 - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 738

You deserved it 1 664

By Anonymous - 29/10/2011 07:43 - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 23 816

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 124

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 088

You deserved it 3 661

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 120

You deserved it 15 177

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 623

You deserved it 19 517

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 708

You deserved it 26 834

Ouch

By Anonymous - 13/01/2013 12:41 - United States

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 418

You deserved it 5 198

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 22 609

sodawater19 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:09

how do you not see the window is down? thats more of an FHL for having to wear an eye patch

xkaokaox 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 23:10

She should poke you in both eyes just for being stupid :[.

Comments

hatelife01 0

Friday 17 April 2009 7:42

your so dumb it aint even funny, lmao.

jdb2009 0

Friday 17 April 2009 7:48

You dumb ******* jackass. I hope that she's both: 1) hot as hell and 2) looking around for someone else to date. You deserved that one...what ever misfortune "that one" is.

cucuto89 0

Friday 17 April 2009 7:58

why were you trying bang a window with your thumbs turned out?

AntiChrist7 0

Friday 17 April 2009 11:44

hope she dumped your stupid ass

Indiana_fml 4

Friday 17 April 2009 12:06

#26 Awesome idea! *rofl*

philopastry 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:57

awesome, your girlfriends a pirate (Y)

philopastry 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:59

no 26. you have made my day with that song...

hoobaga 0

Friday 17 April 2009 14:05

OKAY, no one spotted this, but HOW DOES YOUR THUMB GO INTO HER EYE? I mean, if how do you do the banging action with your hands. Normally your thumb would be pointing towards you. And if you were banging hard enough that she had to wear an eye patch, that would have like, broke the window if it was up.

zandar 0

Friday 17 April 2009 16:14

please try to pay more attention as you go about your business- for everyone else's sake. If you didn't see that, lord only knows what else you don't see, like when you're driving around other cars, or holding sharp instruments.

takran 0

Friday 17 April 2009 16:25

I hope this is made up, but somehow I have a feeling it's not, and it makes me despair for humanity. However, wearing an eye patch is awesome if it makes you look like a pirate.