Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford... - FML

By ehwat - 26/11/2009 05:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 882

You deserved it 12 782

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

By fuckered519 - 06/12/2014 19:53 - United States - Du Quoin

Spicy

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 12 603

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 611

You deserved it 5 531

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Spicy

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 48 549

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 670

You deserved it 9 729

By selfishsexysanta - 24/12/2012 18:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 425

You deserved it 13 833

Cheers

By imgoingtofreakout - 26/12/2017 19:00

Spicy

Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 549

You deserved it 653

Preparation

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 395

By Doy - 19/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 524

You deserved it 8 552

By lovinglife - 24/12/2011 12:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrapped my boyfriend's Christmas presents for him, because he was too lazy to do it himself. This included my own present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 575

You deserved it 6 343

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 621

You deserved it 33 103

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Thursday 26 November 2009 12:37

Reiterate that you have no money. You just can't afford to hire a guy to pack his fudge.

popemichael 9

Thursday 26 November 2009 14:47

FYL? More like FYA! Have fun ^_^

Comments

fyriwolf666 8

Monday 21 December 2009 13:37

Tell him to bend over. ;D

DarkerNukes 2

Wednesday 23 December 2009 19:18

QFT! best advice ever xD

JessiKitty_lol 7

Tuesday 22 December 2009 2:03

LOL

kimilei 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 15:27

Just let him ****** try it. You won't know if you like it or not unless you try it.

kirinkinetic 0

Monday 28 December 2009 8:28

anal isn't so bad really unless he's a complete moron and rams it the heck in without loosening you up and lubing every inch of his manhood as well as your insides. If he does then feel free to kick him in the balls and tell him that is just what you felt.

HippieOrc 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 12:31

Anal... the gift that keeps on giving.

Jzepeda07 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 2:38

that's the best Christmas present ever.

ellawea 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 18:58

it's even if you do.

suckmysarcasm 10

Saturday 16 January 2010 5:00

oh come on let him cum down your chimney ^^

freshx_fml 6

Wednesday 10 February 2010 22:50

tell your boyfriend sodomy is a sin.

1733817338 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 6:47

seriously ppl her choice. plus christmas isnt bout presents its bout being wit loved ones

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The Top

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 638

You deserved it 19 265

Today, on my friend's birthday, I met a guy I really liked at a club, and he asked me to go home with him. At 2 a.m., my friend called but I missed her calls. When I woke up, she'd texted me pictures of all my things that I had at her place thrown outside in the snow. All because I didn’t go home with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 1 204

The Top

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 761

You deserved it 5 539

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 128

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 129

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 93

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 117

Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 497

You deserved it 403