Animals: Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she...

By NaniNarcotic - 16/08/2011 10:17 - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 881

You deserved it 73 460

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Same thing different taste

By lacsmac2 - 01/11/2015 14:10 - Australia

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 611

You deserved it 2 672

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 284

You deserved it 14 256

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 739

You deserved it 30 880

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 316

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 294

You deserved it 32 184

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 301

You deserved it 23 893

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 456

She definitely won though

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 15:00

Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 640

You deserved it 798

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 480

You deserved it 3 176

white16sox 19

Tuesday 16 August 2011 15:57

What what in the butt?

Ballplayer3313 3

Tuesday 16 August 2011 15:57

RHYNO HUMP!

Comments

zeta24 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:01

talk about incest

that_is_Nathy 9

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:01

Let's see what yo are complaining about: You hurt yourself because you acted stupid while trying to be mean to your sister? you SO deserve it!

cowboyhater4ever 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:04

YDI for being sexy.

frankieredsox 7

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:04

Are you four?

sxe_beast 11

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:51

ARE YOU?

xXshadowrollerXx 6

Tuesday 16 August 2011 17:24

Dun dun duuun!

DrIDGAF 7

Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:18

I am 12

acaciastrainftw 2

Tuesday 16 August 2011 23:01

^ and what is this?

Jacobt24 19

Wednesday 17 August 2011 7:41

Obviously it's a flying cat

robertsa426 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:04

Shouldve ass punched her instead. But you have to call it first.

cupcakegirl93 8

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:06

Trying to "knee" your sister in the ass ? This just sounds way wrong! Anyways YDI for obvious reasons.

xblitzx34 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:07

Dats wat u get

starsfan_9 7

Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:39

Guess what you get? A bleak future for being illiterate

steeledwolf 8

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:08

Jackass

jbo116 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:08

Wow you're an idiot for even thinking that would be funny. That's just disturbed. YDI!

NomOnShroomz 14

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:12

I believe failblog.org would be a better website for you.

HannahLouise96 13

Tuesday 16 August 2011 16:12

That's what you get for being a dick.

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You deserved it 3 364

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 21 124

You deserved it 26 000

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I agree, your life sucks 37 218

You deserved it 7 063

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I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 1 066

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I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 92

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I agree, your life sucks 16 966

You deserved it 4 483

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I agree, your life sucks 34 905

You deserved it 2 476