Animals: Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel,... - FML

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 092

You deserved it 10 933

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 15/05/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 449

You deserved it 18 074

By riddick0846 - 12/12/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 799

You deserved it 13 180

By vstan - 25/08/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 477

You deserved it 5 116

Pile on

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 610

You deserved it 12 679

By newly passed, newly grassed - 06/12/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 123

You deserved it 8 393

By Anonymous - 10/10/2010 04:29 - United States

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 490

You deserved it 13 883

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 128

You deserved it 243 911

I don't dare look

By TerribleAim - 12/10/2022 00:01

Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 1 072

Psycho

By Anonymous - 12/10/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 600

You deserved it 4 229

Traumatized

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 673

You deserved it 5 898

Next

Top comments

Schlimpikins 0

Friday 18 March 2011 15:58

You should have turned around and hit the first one for making you hit the second one.

elainelovesyou 7

Friday 18 March 2011 15:57

That must've been his wife. Well done.

Comments

mintcar 9

Friday 18 March 2011 16:27

It's unfortunate that you hit 2 squirrels but be thankful that you didn't get hurt. Sometimes swerving to avoid hitting an animal can be dangerous. FTSL.

maskedman 9

Friday 18 March 2011 16:50

One squirrel actually got away…but not for long.

KMilliron 2

Friday 18 March 2011 19:36

Don't you mean **** the squirrels LACK of life? FTSLL...

LittleMonsterSam 5

Friday 18 March 2011 16:35

PETA is gonna be after your blood!

iluvfmls456 0

Friday 18 March 2011 16:36

So you're the one that ran over my squirrel! Sleep with one eye open.

Naomiiiii 0

Friday 18 March 2011 16:39

MURDERER!

braindawgs 0

Friday 18 March 2011 16:40

hahahah! that mental image made my day.

bigbadtim 7

Friday 18 March 2011 16:41

You killed Rocky, Bullwinkle will be mad.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Friday 18 March 2011 16:45

And mom told me he ran away!

mitchn60 6

Friday 18 March 2011 16:46

Never swerve for animals in the road. About 33 years ago I drove straight through a couple hundred chickens some people were herding across the road at their farm. I came up this rise in the road and there they were. Looked like the biggest damn pillow-fight in my mirrors behind me - feathers flying everywhere!! Not to mention what I heard in the wheelwells of my truck...

maskedman 9

Friday 18 March 2011 16:47

I have a nutsack that I have to carry with me everywhere. I keep it in my pants but every once in a while I like to whip it out and eat some cashews from it. I got it when I took a tour of the Planters factory. Also, my balls.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 18 March 2011 16:49

Quiet, everyone! He's talking about his balls!

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The Top

Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 373

You deserved it 1 987

Today, I bought an electric sex toy to make masturbating more interesting. My penis wasn’t long enough to reach the moving massaging parts on the inside, and just pathetically rested a few inches inside the opening. I could call it a bad design but I’d be lying, I just have a small dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 313

The Top

Today, I found an upside to being morbidly obese. My partner got a flat tyre, and the bolts had rusted tight, making it impossible for him to turn the wrench. I had to put my substantial weight behind it, and in the end we managed to get them all off by me jumping on the wrench each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 436

Today, my stepmother started talking to me after a month of the silent treatment. When I asked her what I had done wrong, she replied, "Nothing, but do you know that feeling when you look at someone and you just want to choke them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 182

You deserved it 1 555

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 723

You deserved it 4 237

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 056

You deserved it 2 916

Today, I found out that my ex let my son eat nothing but cereal and milk for every single meal during his five-day visit. Now my son shrieks, cries, and has a meltdown if I try to make him eat real food. My ex merely replied, "Your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 011

You deserved it 426

Today, my Dad found out that like anime and I that actually collect anime figurines. I wanted to hide my hobbies from my parents, but he found out. Luckily he didn't mind the fact that I have this kind of hobby, but he went on to share the fact that I have "this kind of hobby" to our relatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 314