Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it...

By asdffhhjk - 15/05/2013 08:08 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 097

You deserved it 9 378

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 680

You deserved it 740

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 160

You deserved it 54 030

By robbedonCTA - 22/09/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 105

You deserved it 7 695

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 130

You deserved it 3 639

New variant incoming

By Death to all Covidiots. - 02/02/2022 16:59

Today, some dumbass ripped my facemask off, spit in my face, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 189

By sorrystupid - 02/06/2015 07:42 - United States

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 5 290

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 814

You deserved it 43 263

Stunlocked

By RoyBoy - 26/07/2021 18:01

Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 553

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 110

You deserved it 3 260

Get back here!

By anythingjean - 25/05/2009 21:46 - Canada

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 833

You deserved it 9 739

narkill 13

Wednesday 15 May 2013 18:51

Well. That's very...disturbing...

SpamPam 18

Wednesday 15 May 2013 18:52

I hope he had pants on

Comments

maximus_prime 24

Thursday 16 May 2013 2:24

Some guys are like that OP, 3 humps and its over.

mattlw 25

Thursday 16 May 2013 2:45

I wonder who put the coin there???

splashface1 10

Thursday 16 May 2013 3:24

And why do 3400+ people think op deserved to be humped?? Lol

xXNerrrdXx 16

Thursday 16 May 2013 4:47

i was thinking how nasty the world got when i read this.....till i noticed OP is a guy....xD FYL bro rofl

Lacist 19

Thursday 16 May 2013 5:52

You know what's creepier, my friend told me a similar story.

Narcisse_fml 25

Thursday 16 May 2013 6:25

I'd hate to think about what would've happened if you'd squatted down instead of bending over.

royalsgrl 14

Thursday 16 May 2013 7:28

Don't get how she deserved ydi!!! How does anyone deserve that from a strange man. Sexual harassment

LittleMagicWolf 7

Thursday 16 May 2013 9:19

Lol that's happened to me in high school by both genders. But they were my jackass friends, not some stranger. ._.'

lovelyohhmee 8

Thursday 16 May 2013 9:57

Why would you bend down with your ass up in the air? Not very lady like.

mr_sarcastic416 29

Thursday 16 May 2013 11:58

#132 especially since OP is male

babyblueyes 27

Thursday 16 May 2013 11:51

Did I just get laid? - quagmire

Keywords

Public freakouts Education Parents Mother in law Love AITA Miscellaneous Argument Fear Insects Skincare Health Cats Jealousy Work Gross Coworkers Drugs Dogs Animals Fire Awkward Transportation Cars Money Scams Scary Bikes Neighbours Sex

The Top

Today, my sister will be giving birth to my niece any day now. She repeatedly insists on showing me her heavily pregnant belly. I don't know how to tell her that I find pregnancy bellies repulsive without sounding like a dick. I don't even know why this is. I just don't like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 130

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 098

You deserved it 20 811

The Top

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 389

You deserved it 7 050

Today, I had to pick my son up from jail. He was pulled over for having a busted tail light, gave the officer his licence, realized he gave the officer his fake ID and then the dumbass gave the cop his real one. Is it too late for a vasectomy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 472

Today, I learned that although I’m apparently not qualified to be a department supervisor, I’m entirely qualified to train the person who got the promotion over me, who has never worked in my department before. Boy, do I feel appreciated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 73

Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 1 582

Today, the maintenance workers finally came to my apartment to fix the shower-head that kept falling off the wall. I was annoyed because they had replaced it a few weeks ago and since then, it'd been a problem. They went into my bathroom, turned the shower head around, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 975

You deserved it 27 681

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 152

You deserved it 5 694