Love: Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered...

By in_side_out - 14/01/2010 11:26 - Australia

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 528

You deserved it 2 875

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Same thing different taste

Details matter

By Anonymous - 16/11/2021 22:00 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, after buying my girlfriend an expensive gift for her birthday, cooking her breakfast in bed, and treating her all day ending with dinner and cake at her parents, she burst into tears and said the whole day was ruined. Why? I forgot to buy her a birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 126

By R281780 - 14/02/2016 15:53 - United States - San Jose

Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 401

You deserved it 4 166

By holla1787 - 04/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 539

You deserved it 2 819

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 342

You deserved it 4 251

How could you?

By Harry641 - 23/02/2016 22:53 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I got accused of ruining my girlfriend's birthday, all because I accidentally got her the same birthday present as her mother did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 362

You deserved it 1 512

By jake - 07/02/2010 18:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 175

You deserved it 8 232

By Anonymous - 06/05/2015 05:24 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 614

You deserved it 3 305

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 456

You deserved it 96 691

By KalaKa - 20/12/2014 20:45 - United States

Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 963

You deserved it 3 793

How Soon is Now?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 12:59 - Colombia - Bogota

Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 1 855

aback 4

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:30

Sounds like there's still time to cancel that order!

jillian_xx 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:03

ouch.

Comments

Shadic 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:43

Bullshit. Eyes wander equally between genders.

heyhoe_fml 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:43

really? make her feel worthy for being a ***** and cheating on him? ******* feminist.

Shadic 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:45

The worst part about this is that she wasn't sorry she cheated - She's sorry she got caught.

shalvius 3

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:48

awesome

Nic_hole 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:53

:( aww that's extremely horible :(

LIEKEFRIET 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:53

that's really wrong of her, but why did you sit her down for a 'we need to talk' talk... that's just dumb..

liveloveandownit 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 22:51

Considering that if he hadn't she may have never told him I would say he was lucky that he did it that way.

bambilla 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:53

www.575haikus.com best site everrrrr

motheroffuck 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:56

I thought we were supposed to love people by there personality, not looks? -.-

Gummybears4life 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 20:05

oooh..... dude thats awful I'm sorry about that

dindinn 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 20:21

:(((

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Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 242

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 5

The Top

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 898

You deserved it 28 007

Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or widthwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 81

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 509

You deserved it 4 171

Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 130

Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 83

Today, I had my 28-week ultrasound. Baby is doing well, but has clearly inherited his/her father's growth genetics and currently measures at the 96th percentile. I'm a tiny woman (pre-pregnancy 105lbs). I'm screwed for the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 110

Same thing different taste

Details matter

How could you?

STFU

How Soon is Now?

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