Love: Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to...

By P4ntless - 26/10/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to leave my phone in my car before I went to my roommate's brother's birthday party. Highlights of the evening include: Beer Pong, a keg stand, and breaking up with my girlfriend via text message. I don't remember the last one. She does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 563

You deserved it 41 351

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 681

You deserved it 1 234

Sobering.

By Bambusmaster - 13/09/2018 18:50

Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of 1 year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 847

You deserved it 230

By thedudeman14 - 05/11/2014 22:21 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 442

You deserved it 3 175

By UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 429

You deserved it 3 377

News to me

By looz - 29/12/2008 07:21 - France

Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 888

You deserved it 2 147

By Funless - 18/08/2010 16:52 - United States

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 597

You deserved it 7 575

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 612

You deserved it 2 882

By schwange - 15/05/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 3 884

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 06:00

Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized and we went out to dinner to celebrate. I stepped away to use the bathroom, then came back to a note on the table saying, "I'm going to enjoy single life, thanks!" He left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 525

By whatthewhat? - 25/11/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 917

You deserved it 3 537

alicexox 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:38

isn't the saying: drunk words are sober thoughts? It's not so bad, you obviously wanted to break up with her anyway right? :)

nando92 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:35

haha that sucks... LESSON LEARNED: dont drink so much

Comments

LemonadePink 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:40

I never understand why people text when they're drunk, i never touch my phone once i'm drunk...too busy doing drunk stuff, you know?

crystal25 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:45

Fyl

Shadic 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 6:47

Bullshit. It's his fault. Also, thank you for your WONDERFUL, INSIGHTFUL comment.

Yipachu 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:00

I like how the poster went Quentin Tarantino style by putting the ending first.

fringle 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:12

I havnt seen plexico for a long time

I_am_stupid_also 6

Tuesday 27 October 2009 5:43

He's busy fighting a bunch of paternity suits.

FerrariCake 2

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:25

Idiot... you didn't send her a text message. Someone else at the party played a joke on you: they got hold of your phone, looked up your girlfriend in your contacts, and sent the message. File that one under "duh". Even if you DID send the message, this story is the obvious cover.

FerrariCake 2

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:27

Besides, if you black out from drinking beer, you have much bigger problems than an angry ex-girlfriend.

Superawesomestev 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:30

Win!

FAKEstfu 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:40

Haha OP you tool

fawfulster 11

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:40

I think people are mising the FML. Unless there's enough proof against OP for breaking up with her, I call shenanigans. If he says he left the phone in the car, that means the girl made it up just for the sake of breaking up with her.