Kids: Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not...

By hairless - 09/10/2011 03:53 - Canada

Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 441

You deserved it 6 771

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Same thing different taste

By thatoneperson - 17/02/2012 12:43 - United States

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 423

You deserved it 5 899

By TimeForAHairCut - 08/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Eugene

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 988

You deserved it 2 106

By my dumb bro - 17/04/2013 16:13 - United States - Gillham

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 398

You deserved it 8 763

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 162

You deserved it 13 383

He has issues

By just a joke - 08/06/2020 20:08

Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 665

You deserved it 363

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 194

You deserved it 76 832

By yeah_im_mad_bro - 24/09/2011 00:32 - Canada

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 202

You deserved it 5 465

By Christine - 09/05/2009 06:08 - United States

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 993

You deserved it 51 193

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 430

You deserved it 28 100

By vreenya - 08/04/2014 20:13 - Chile - Santiago

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 606

You deserved it 4 038

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 9 October 2011 9:09

Someone answered their own question.

_Vamp_ 9

Sunday 9 October 2011 10:04

And you can't either gangsta beiber. It's past your bed time you silly goose.

Comments

MisUnFortunate 31

Saturday 3 August 2013 6:03

That's funny.. my brother has never threatened any such thing, nor would he actually do it. So I conclude that you are lying.

confusedAsFuck 34

Thursday 15 August 2013 21:17

the only mystery after women is little brothers. we can never understand their ******* logic

HerpityDerp 11

Thursday 6 November 2014 19:56

That child is one little ******. If I were you I would do something like that to him. What did your parents say about this.

Tomato_Cheese 22

Wednesday 13 January 2016 0:06

Eyebrows on fleek!

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Money Cute Kids Health Love Weird Awkward Relatable Abuse Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Gross Miscellaneous Relationship advice Capitalism Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek

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Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 132

You deserved it 1 115

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 138

The Top

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 373

You deserved it 3 372

Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 006

You deserved it 2 498

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 684

You deserved it 6 784

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 438

You deserved it 3 612

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 029

You deserved it 38 057

Today, I went to the hairdressers for a quick cut and wash. I didn't expect my ear to be included in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 895

You deserved it 303

Same thing different taste

He has issues

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