Miscellaneous: Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery...

By junkie - 18/12/2012 18:28 - Belgium - Antwerp

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 127

You deserved it 64 362

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Same thing different taste

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 717

By karmaquestionmark - 20/11/2012 02:04 - United States - Silverton

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 124

You deserved it 36 896

By Pissed.Off.Mom. - 06/10/2016 05:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 251

You deserved it 2 541

Where is it?

By beezybees - 20/02/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 475

You deserved it 2 874

Who do you take me for?

By pandaboo - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 786

You deserved it 3 874

The cheek!

By Anonymous - 01/06/2014 16:36 - Germany - Ammerndorf

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 977

You deserved it 5 292

Lock him up

By Homelesssoon - 07/10/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I visited a friend’s house. He has a vast collection of Cartier bracelets. Being strapped for cash and starving, I stole one of them when he wasn’t looking, thinking he wouldn’t notice one missing. I went to pawn the bracelet. It’s fake. Rent’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 3 855

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 106

You deserved it 3 103

By Ambar - 15/02/2010 17:02 - Canada

Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 740

You deserved it 2 755

By danskinnow - 05/10/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 114

You deserved it 34 687

PlaiPie 11

Wednesday 19 December 2012 0:06

The moral of this story is: Never buy gifts for people

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Wednesday 19 December 2012 0:08

You must have been high on something to think that that would work out. ...wait.

Comments

hornyunicorny 2

Wednesday 19 December 2012 6:06

Buy jewelry. Wash bag. Put less expensive jewelry in bag. Done!

omart3 6

Wednesday 19 December 2012 6:06

Or even better, you could just give her the actual weed!

JAMSM 6

Wednesday 19 December 2012 7:21

Listen. I won't say stop smoking weed, I don't approve of it, but hey, you gotta admit, this one's your fault. If you didn't smoke weed, you wouldn't be in this predicament. Anyway, have fun getting high and try not to hurt yourself doing stupid shit.

LAND_oF_5RiVERs 2

Wednesday 19 December 2012 7:22

Cannabis is not a drug, you have just been brainwashed into thinking so.

JAMSM 6

Thursday 20 December 2012 8:41

You are an idiot. Though you are right, cannabis itself is no drug, however, THC is, and weed has a shit-ton of that. As for the brainwashed part, NO, JUST NO. If someone wanted to brainwash the masses, there are much more effective ways to do it than anything in place currently. Psy warfare is not videos in middle school, videos in middle school don't do shit, now shut your trap until you can say something that isn't a load of horseshit.